We had our biggest monthly increase in Net-worth, since Feb, the month when my salary stopped.
Below are some details.
Net-Worth increase from last month: 32.57K SGD
The increase is mainly from my freelancer pay and, of course, the STI dividends.
Part of my freelancer pay has landed this month. It is equivalent to roughly two month's pay. According to the arrangement, I would have another 3 month's pay coming.
Our next contract signing is imminent. Hopefully, the 3 month will follow soon.
Another major reason for the increase is the STI dividends. Due to our entry at the highest point, we are still in the red. We will just leave it there for the long term.
[I just realized a mistake in my last month update. The investment return indicated there was not time weighted. I must have looked at the wrong column. I have corrected it. Sincere apologies!]
Since March, our investment return has been increasing bit by bit, with the market. But due to lack of capital injection, the performance was nothing to be highlighted.
Hope the pandemic control will ease soon and I could finally onboard and kick start my career again!
I watched the movie "The Old Guards" the other day and cannot help thinking that they were "Old-But-Not-Wise" Guards.
1. What is the movie about?
Who are they? - A group of immortals who excel in combat, but with no super-natural powers.
But they do not have any super-natural powers, like punching through the walls or see around the corner. They are just well trained in combat and have the power to heal no matter how badly they are wounded or how many times they are drowned.
So the only thing they really fear is being captured by humans and locked up in a cage for life which could mean eternity. This setting is reasonably understandable.
What do they do? - Well, live their limitless lives and try saving the world over and over again.
Limitless life can be a dread too, especially for one of them who lost all his sons and were hated by his sons for not sharing his "forever young and healthy" gift.
Under the leadership of Andy, they try to save the world, not really knowing the actual impact of their doing, because it could take generations for the real impact to show.
What conflicts do they experience in the movie? - They are really confused on how to save mankind and they are hunted by mankind, as always.
Apparently, nothing can stop mankind from destroying itself. After so much efforts, they are confused, disappointed and helpless, because things just keep getting worse, to the point that the leader, Andy, wants to give up and stop caring.
And as always, the mortal humans want immortality more than anything, especially the ones on the top. And they try to capture and study the immortals, in attempt to find a solution.
And sometimes, they get help and succeed.
What is the ending like? - Bad guy dies and the immortals realize their value of their doing and Andy loses her immortality and Quynh comes back.
As always, the bad guy always get stupid and die.
Finally, by the research of some CIA agent, the immortals realize that they have save humanity countless times.
Andy loses her immortality but she survives the last conflict of the movie and continues to lead the group.
And Yean! Quynh comes back!
2. Why "Old-But-Not-Wise"?
First, their way of life and doing things.
Come on! Andy must be thousands of years old. The youngest of them is from Crusade era, which is 700-800 years old.
After living so many years, they are still acting like foot-soldiers and do the wet work themselves and, worst of all, risk being captured - their greatest fear.
Do they not ever learn?!
Over so many years, they could have built the most mysterious and influential families/organizations on the planet with all the resources and power under their wing.
They could have lived better and saved mankind more effectively.
Second, among four of them, there is a traitor because he wants to die.
Most of his endless life, he suffers from the hate of his sons because they thought he would not share his gift with them even when they were dying. Only he knew that only if he could.
I wonder why time has not healed him mentally. So many years, he could have had different lives. The memory of his sons would have faded. Maybe he is busy saving the world, but still time should have had its healing effect.
And I wonder why there is never anything between him and Andy. After all, for the longest time, there are only 4 of them: him, Andy and a couple.
And even his own colleagues do not understand and agree with him. In the end, the punishment is 100 years alone out there.
I do think that in the end, that they did not let him off with an apology, as the new lady suggests, is evidence of their wisdom.
Old people should know clearly that mistakes should come with punishment and that guy needs time to think. If he cannot find a way to live with himself, no one can help him.
3. Looking forward to the next episode!
Really glad that Quynh comes back in the end.
After being drowned at the bottom of the ocean over and over and over again for like 500 years, I can only imagine she would crave for revenge.
I look forward to seeing how she takes revenge on the mortals - will she cast her fire of revenge over the humanity all alike or will she focus on the specific group of people, like descendants of the people who locked her up and threw her in the ocean?
And I would like to see whether she will manipulate mortals to achieve what she wants, something her peers have never done.
And who will save humanity this time? Her immortal peers or a mortal hero?
I hope for the latter. Maybe this will make the immortals realize that humanity does not need saving or safeguarding. For some wired and unspeakable mechanism, humanity always saves itself from extinction.
And the immortals can finally relax and enjoy humanity and peace.
Maybe suddenly, they will all lose immortality and become mortal and live a "normal" life until they die old.
Maybe they will be accepted, respected and welcome as part of humanity (First of all, humans needs to accept completely that the gift cannot be transferred - Chance of that happening? Zero!).
By the way, the actress, Ngo Thanh Van, is lovely and I think her appearance in the movie is her best yet!
Till next time!
[By the way, this post represents a bad story structure - ideally, background should take ~15% of the length. It takes ~30% here...]
French priest Nader Ransom has as his epitaph "If time can be turned back, half of the people in the world will be great!"
That is 50% chance for everybody.
Considering what the real world is like, that chance is extremely high.
Only if we could turn back time.
Wouldn't that be nice?
We can go back and rectify our mistakes and optimize our achievements, kind of like playing a video game.
Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash
Well, the only problem is that we cannot really do it.
Then what is the next best alternative?
For me, that is self-reflection. With that, we can find the "better" ourselves.
Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash
1. With self-reflection, we can reduce our mistakes
If I thought about my past experiences, so many mistakes could have been prevented if I was only "me" at that time.
Unfortunately, some of those mistakes could never be undone and will stick with me for the rest of my life. And frankly, I have been suffering from them ever since I made them.
Take my career decision last year for example.
To go from having a good job and two other "even better" offers to becoming unemployed till now, I had to make a series of mistakes. If any one of them could be avoided, I would have avoided the "near-catastrophic" situation I am now.
Thinking back, the normal "I" would not have made those decisions. The normal "I" would have been more prudent and rationale.
Self-reflection can put us through the necessary thinking process which eliminates whatever illusions we may have and ensures that we do not lost ourselves and we will be "us" when needed.
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
2. With self-reflection, we can prevent repeated mistakes
While mistakes might be inevitable, wise man never make the same mistake twice.
Well, if you have made the same mistake twice or trice or more, like me, let's not make it one more time.
Self-reflection allows us to understand clearly our mistakes and then learn from them. That is an invaluable source of growth.
Photo by Brandon Green on Unsplash
3. With self-reflection, we can accelerate our growth
Self-reflection not only allows us to learn from our mistakes, but also enables us to learn from almost everything in life, something we have done or not done, something other people have done or not done etc etc
It is critical that we go deep enough into our thoughts and challenge ourselves to find the rules that world run by.
Photo by Randy Jacob on Unsplash
With so many benefits, how do we self-reflect?
I wish I could give you, my readers, a tested and proven way.
I only have decided to start daily self-reflection. And I searched around and did not find any method that really clicked.
I hope, in the not-so-distant future, I could write a post describing the self-reflection method that has worked for me, based on my own experiences.
If you have or know of any self-reflection methods or related books/materials/courses, please share with me. I would deeply appreciate that!
I have been playing "Hearts of Iron IV" a lot lately. And I find that there are lots of similarities between this game and life.
They are both hard, fun, and addictive.
1. Like life, the game can have low or high starting points (Unlike life, you can choose...)
Apparently, choosing super powers as your country will make your playing easier, like Germany, the US, Soviet etc.
You start with solid industry and technology, a formidable military and probably a bunch of "little brothers" following you already.
Personally, I like to pick a country that connects with me and is relatively weak to start with, for the fun. Therefore, I play Communist China a lot (Unfortunately, Singapore is not playable).
Communist China is one of the weakest starting point in the game.
You only have one province, with basically non-existent industry and technology. The few divisions you have lack the most basic equipment.
What's worse, you are suffering from various debuffs that affects badly pretty much all aspects of a country, from factory output to construction speed, from stability to war support, from political power struggle to army training and fighting effectiveness.
The only thing you do not lack is manpower. However, the only possible use for them in the beginning is to turn them into unarmed and untrained militia.
Luckily, you are surrounded by equally weak and in-trouble neighbors. Otherwise, any human player will just swallow you as a starter.
Like life, there are high and low starting points in the game.
Like life, it might be more fun having a low starting point.
Maybe doing what connects with you matters more.
2. Like life, the game is complicated
The game is vastly complicated.
There are so many aspects you need to consider.
To make your country great, you have to take care of all factors, from national focus to government, from diplomacy to research, from military to construction etc etc
There are so many factors, modifiers and formula involved.
Taking land combat for example, you need to consider the terrain, the whether, your division's attack (soft and hard), defense, armor, supply, general, preparation status etc and the same factors of the enemy division. Each one of the outcome involves complicated formula.
I just could not see how any player can remember all those formula and do the calculation in time in order to optimize their actions, like you can in some other games.
I remember reading a "research paper" that involves tons of calculation and using of professional tools like Matlab, just to demonstrate that the "7 infantry, 2 artillery" division is a good all-around division template.
What's worse, the game keeps changing.
Every time a patch comes out, you have to go back and re-look at the factors and formula etc to digest and adjust your play-style.
Life life, you have to give up the idea of taking the single best action at every step in the game.
Maybe finding the best answer requires too much knowledge and resources, or maybe there is no single best answers at all.
Instead, embrace the possibilities and take decisive actions to pursue what you want, knowing clearly that you are mostly likely NOT on the most optimal path but believing firmly that efforts will take you there nevertheless.
3. Like life, the game is fun, no matter whether you have extra help or play alone
Due to the complication, it is hard to play the game well.
Too often, I do not see the consequence of a decision until much later in the game, which will completely ruin my plan.
Too often, I forgot to do something amidst of all the other things going on, like declaring war with a country at the earliest time, or checking my inventory and adjusting production before my troops have to fight with their bare hands.
Too often, ...
Right then, how I wish I could have an assistant who can remind me and guild me along the way.
Compared to the game, life can only be more complicated and the impact of such an assistant will be even more significant.
No doubt, there are people who have this kind of "extra help" both in the game and in life. This could be their parents, relatives, friends, paid coaches etc. Those are the lucky ones!
What if you do not have that?
It is OK. It is still fun to play!
True, you will need more time and you will face more frustrations.
You will also learn the game in a deeper manner, through research, failure, reflections etc. You will ultimately be able to develop your own play style, where you know the rationale behind every decision and action.
Who says that cannot be more fun?
Like life, the game will be much easier if you have "extra help" who can guild you along the way.
Life life, if you do not have the "extra help", you are exposed to the opportunity to make it more fun by taking the tougher path.
After all, nothing is more boring than beating a game using cheats.
4. Like life, the game requires more and more strategy and planning as you go on
If you play Communist China (or any other weak country I guess), in the beginning, you do not have many choices and time is critical, which means you needs to be decisive and every move needs to be at the earliest point.
You have to leverage your only advantage, the manpower, to conquer your neighbors to seize the land, factories and equipment.
This requires you not to pick a national focus to save Political Points to be able to declare war as soon as possible and you have to declare at the moment you have enough Political Points to do so to save time.
Once your neighbors have enough division to fill the line, your chance is lost because your militia with no weapons and training simply cannot fight.
Therefore, in the beginning, there is not much room for strategy and planning.
However, once you conquer Japan, the "time-critical" requirements are mostly eased.
And you need to slow down and think about the strategy.
Should you stand with Germany and destroy the Soviets? Should you stand with Soviets to repel Germany attack? Or Should you join the Allies?
Should you attack your neighbors first or should you attack your enemy on the other side of the sea?
Should you focus on infantry divisions all along? When should you switch to armor divisions? How much production and resources to devote to air force and navy?
How should you plan your defenses? Where to build fort? Where to build anti-air?
This all requires tons of strategy and planning to ensure you pick the right strategy and your country is run in a way that supports it.
Like life, more and more strategy and planning is required as we go on.
We need to invest more time and energy in thinking about the directions and planning.
We can no long afford to be only reflective. We need to take the initiative to make things happen for us.
5. Like life, it all comes down to the basics.
If you have survived and flourished and you want to conquer the world, you will realize that it all comes down to the basics - Stability, War Support, Manpower etc - which you may have been neglecting because they have not given you much trouble so far.
In one of my play-through, I took over the Soviet and then Germany. The whole world was basically my country and the Allies.
There was no way to divide and conquer. And there was simply not another super power that I could ally with or incite to fight with the Allies.
The only way was to fight the Allies, the other half of the world, directly.
It was not pretty. The war lasted a looong time without any clear indication who is going to win. In the end, it just became attrition warfare.
It all came down to who had more manpower, higher stability and war support. Even industry and technology mattered less.
Like life, if we want to conquer the world in the game, we have to have strong basics.
In the game, these are manpower, stability, war support
In life, these are health, family support, patience and not breaching any code of conduct.
In summary, I really enjoyed the game and I believe the game can teach us something about life as well.
