The decrease is mainly due to the stock market and the estimates I have to make on some of our transactions.
We had some transactions to my wife's investment account. I do not have all the details so I can only make some estimates. So above figure could be a bit inaccurate compared to last months.
Also, I have not considered the returns/losses of my wife's investments so far. As I mentioned in my previous post, I did not think she was serious. Now obviously is a good time to rethink that.
So I hope to be able to take stock next month and give our tracking a calibrated milestone.
From next week, I will be on a new job, one with likely lower net income, less stability, more stress, heavier workload, less free time and much more traveling. Hopefully, it will also provide more learning opportunities and in time, opportunities to advance in career and income.
I was thinking starting the new job was not ideal. I expressed similar feelings in a few other posts during that period too.
I was thinking that was bad enough. And I never thought for a minute that I would not even be able to start the job.
It can always get worse, and probably it will! (Touch wood)
Thinking about my life, I have had quite a few such cases and they all concentrate in the past 2 years or so.
It could be due to my memory bias.
But, I think it is time for me to adjust my expectations with life and be more cautious with both of my feet on the ground!
Secondly, my wife is abssessed now with some A-share active investment course. She has paid quite a bit tuition and is really eager to try. I don't know how to stop her. Guess I will just let her try it out.
I was pretty unsupportive at that time.
I was already putting time and efforts into investing. Why did she need to do it again?
And based on my understanding, she was not the very logical type of person and was vulnerable to sales pitches etc
But she insisted.
I never really showed interest in how she did, as I always believed she was just "trying it out" and she probably would just give it up after the initial "interest" faded.
I also never thought she would do well.
Then she gave me an update yesterday and I was shocked!
She had made more profits within a much shorter period of time with a much smaller capital!
So her "8 months" has beaten my "2.5 years" and she did it with a much smaller capital.
I always believed in the buy-and-forget long-term approach. Well, the return so far has not been great.
Maybe it is because the time span is not long enough yet.
On the other hand, am I being lazy and less open-minded?
My wife learned from the courses and acted. She tried so many things related to investing, while I read a few books in the beginning, fixed my strategy and have been lazy since then.
And I refuse to spend a penny on courses as I do not believe the learnings is valuable enough to not waste my time and money.
It is pretty evident in many aspects of life.
My wife is more active and willing to try out new things, while I am more likely to be passive and refuse to accept new ideas.
Maybe I should get more active and open-minded!
[This is not to say the long-term approach is wrong.]
I recently reviewed very briefly my journey since last Dec. It was a really brief and short flash-back.
But yet, one observation was so evident that I just could not ignore it.
And that was how my "Thinking" had changed completely due to, I believe, the anchoring effect and the fear of loss.
Initially, when I was going to be unemployed, I was only thinking about finding another job in Singapore because I knew how much my family needed me to be present, for kids education, housing etc etc.
Honestly, going to China for a career was not even in the picture.
And No, I did not discuss with my wife. That was my thinking, not affected by my wife.
Then as things really happened and it was not getting better, and of course, my mentor reached out to offer me a position, my wife and I discussed and gradually accepted that I could go for it.
I guess under that kind of pressure, I or we had to "Let Go" some plans, such as the plan for kid to get the "best" education etc.
And it happened so naturally that I pretty much did not realize it.
Maybe the pandemic helped as well, e.g. no tuition was really running in the first months.
But I believe the pressure was the major reason.
That is what "tunnel vision" does to people: you completely could not see what is not in the tunnel.
Then 3-4 months later in June, when the VP in my previous company offered me the promotion to go back, I said No.
At that time, I was all thinking about my commitment to my mentor and long term career perspectives.
However, it was only during the recent short flash-back that I realized none of the reasons I had in the first place to stay in Singapore came into my mind, as if they never existed, during the decision making process.
Photo by Rob Schreckhise on Unsplash
My situation did not really change in Jun compared to last Dec. Yet, my thinking was completely different.
The explanation I have is
1) The anchoring effect: where you start determines where you go or get.
2) The fear of loss: you fear losing what you have now
In Dec, my starting point was my previous life, during which I spent quite some time with my family, such as with my elder son in his tuition etc.
And I did not want to give that up.
In Jun, however, my starting point became the China scenario, where I made a great commitment and I was working for the long term career goals.
And I did not want to give that up.
[Just to be clear, I am not regretting my decision in Jun.]
This is the "trap" we easily fall into when we do "Thinking". We think we are logical, but there are always "Blind Spots".
And it is really hard to see through all the "fog" to figure it out, especially under the pressure of making a decision.
If we are lucky, we will figure it out much later after the decision;
If we are not, we will never figure it out and it will be lost in the river of time. I guess that explains why some people are so confused about why their lives have come to what they are now.
I can only imagine how many such cases in my life have been missed out.
And this is why really knowing ourselves is so critical, and yet so hard.
Photo by Katerina Jerabkova on Unsplash
On the other hand, however, maybe "Feelings" can help us escape those "traps" by being an indicator.
I felt really bad saying No to the VP in Jun, which could be because my "Feelings" were trying to tell me that I was missing something important.
Maybe another example could better illustrate this.
Before I lost my job, when everything was going fine, I always felt negative and insecure: what if this happens, what if that happens and to do that, I need to do much more now.
Maybe my "Feelings" were trying to point me to my "Blind Spot": my current situation is the best I can get at my current capability level, even though it is not enough for my ambition.
If I recall, pretty much all I did back then was complain, feel frustrated and unfairly treated. I did little to nothing to keep improving myself.
However, after I became unemployed and lost the most important income stream for me and my family, I felt positive and hope: In 2 years, I can achieve this and that and the life for my family will be like that.
This is a good feeling. Maybe it tells me that I am not missing any significant "Blind Spots" right now.
So consider both "Thinking" and "Feeling" in decision making!
In the past 10 years after my graduation, my salary increased by ~10 times based on my previous job and ~17 times based on the job I was going to (in case you are new to this blog, the offer got retracted).
I am far from being able to claim that I am successful, especially in my current situation. However, I am still proud of what I achieved before this painful offer-retraction episode.
And rest assured, I am not going to stop where I am now. The current difficulties just set the stage for my next jump. You can read about my 40/40 goal here: Monthly Net-Worth Update - Jan 2020.
The key for me to achieve what I have achieved is being a good, even top, employee most of the time.
Along the way, I have gathered some leanings and technique that I believe anyone can apply.
So I would like to share that with you, for your consideration and let you be the judge.
This post is going to be "Part 1" - Working Habits.
The most basic and practical requirements of being a good employee is to have good working habits.
Below are 4 habits that I think are most basic and important.
Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash
1. Always write it down
We get tasks all the time from different channels, from our boss, colleagues and customers through meetings, phone calls, emails etc etc. It could even be something that we ourselves simply want or plan to do.
It is important that we write it down in a to-do list or something like that, so that we do not forget.
It is simple. But you will be surprised how few can do this consistently.
When you forget something you need to do and act like "Arrh...sorry, I forgot", you send a strong message that "I am not reliable and you cannot trust me. You need to check my work".
Trust me, your work life will be miserable if your boss feels the need to check your work frequently.
So you should write it down, even for your own sake.
Photo by Jules Bss on Unsplash
2. Always clarify
When you write down a task, the next step is to clarify.
You can ask yourself 5 questions. And if any of them is not clear, clarify.
- What do I need to do?
- Why do I need to do it?
- When do I need to complete it?
- How am I going to do it? Is there a better way to do it?
- What is the next step? e.g Should I review with you or should I send it out directly?
This is to ensure that you do the right thing the right way.
There is no worse waste of time and efforts than handing in something that you spend hours or days in doing, but turns out to be completely useless.
Photo by Estée Janssenson Unsplash
3. Always plan ahead
Planning ahead shows you have things in control and actually know how to complete the task within the required time-frame.
For example, if you need to complete an analysis by a certain time, you need to consider:
- How am I going to do the analysis?
- What input do I need?
- Who or where do I need to get the input from?
- When do I need to get the input by?
- What kind of time buffer do I need?
- ...
Another aspect of planning ahead is to inform ahead.
If you cannot complete a task in time, inform as early as possible so that the other party can try to help and make necessary arrangements.
If you need to take leave, inform as early as possible so that the rest of the team can plan accordingly to cover for you.
Photo by Cytonn Photography on Unsplash
4. Always think about your "customer"
Your "customer" could be your external customers, which we usually refer to, as well as your internal customers, which could be your boss, colleagues etc.
To think about them means:
- Deliver error-free work
- Deliver clear instructions, such as "My additions are highlighted in RED. Please review"
- Deliver the message understandable to them
- Think about how they will react and try to go for "Win-win"
- ...
Just put yourself in their shoes and treat them the way you want to be treated.
Above are the 4 working habits that will help everyone in their work.
They are as simple as common sense. And I am sure everyone of us will act by them from time to time.
What really matters is to consistently follow them without fail. With time, you will be among the best employees.
With the 4 habits, we are off with a good start. Of course, they are not enough to ensure promotions and pay raises. So stay tune for the upcoming episodes.
I hope to get a bit further in the journey of convincing you and myself that "Want" is a great thing.
Photo by Abdul Barie on Unsplash
1. "Need vs Want"? Nah!
Many of you must have heard about the "Need vs Want" argument, which is usually used to teach people to cut down their spending and save part of their paycheck for rainy days and for future planning.
I acknowledge its merit, especially when it comes to the people with low self-control.
And I have been a firm believer, simply because it totally aligns with my belief and my actions.
However, I think I have been too good at this, to a point where I feel unsatisfied with myself.
Ever since I was little, my parents have been telling me that we are poor and we need to be frugal. And I was a good kid. So I almost always went for the most basic version of the basics.
As I grew up, I gradually discovered that I was unable to exercise a proper manner of consumption.
Is it Need or Want to have a desktop to play games?
I do have a laptop that can run some games with less than 30 FPS at low graphic settings. So I think that is "Want".
And I further reinforce my argument with remotely related arguments:
- Playing game is bad. I should not spend too much time on that.
- The game is not that great any way. There is an older game which is similar that your laptop can run.
- Even if you get that desktop, the pleasure will fade away very soon, before you even realize it.
- You will have other problems to destroy the pleasure further. What about there is quality problems? You will have to go through all the troubles to fix it.
- ... ...
The result?
I still spent time in gaming anyway but only get the discounted pleasure because of the lagging performance.
On top of that, I spent more time reading about that desktop online.
Worst of all, I consumed a huge amount of "self-discipline" in the process.
And of course, I started questioning myself why I cannot just get that desktop. And inevitably, I grew increasingly unsatisfied about myself.
And that negatively impacts almost everything in life.
Initially, I thought that was because I did not have enough money and I had to prepare for the future.
And then I realized that had nothing to do with how much money I had or did not have. And a thousand dollars wont have any noticeable impact in our financial standing either.
Photo by Drew Coffmanon Unsplash
2. "I envy those students who sell their kidneys for an iPhone!"
The point is that refraining ourselves too much from "Want" can hurt our ability and WILL to pursue what we desire and most importantly what we deserve.
We start to believe we do not deserve those and grow fearful of making efforts to get them.
But, what is wrong with "wanting" a luxury life, or a stupidly expensive toy, or success? Isn't that what majority of humans want? Isn't that what motivates us?
Do not become that guy who envies the students who sell their kidneys for an iPhone because he "wants" nothing and feels dead.
I recalled a English competition just before I started university.
My main competitor was a guy I did not like. But his English vocabulary was much bigger than mine.
And the competition tested on vocabulary. Basically, who could gather the most words in the shortest time would win.
I wanted to beat him so much that I spent every evening memorizing words, even though I also wanted to watch movies or play games together with my peers.
On the day of the competition, the rule changed to allow cooperation. Many participants did not want to team up because they would have to split the rewards or simply because they did not care about winning.
I found the first guy and told him that he could keep the rewards if we won, but the competition would be under my name. He agreed.
And my name came up as the third place.
The guy I did not like? He was the second.
I did not beat him, but I think I managed to keep my face.
If I had not wanted to win so badly, I wont team up, let along give up the rewards. And If I had not teamed up, I probably wont stand a chance of being in the top 5.
Back then, I felt embarrassed when my peers came to congratulate me and I did not have the rewards.
But if I think back now, I can only admire my commitment and bravery at that time!
I cannot recall the last time I have wanted something this badly after that.
And I can only imagine how much more I would have achieved if I kept that commitment.
Therefore, what matters is your action.
"WANT" is a great thing if you can use it to push yourself into commitment and the fighting mode and stay there.
If you do not act and only "want", maybe you should let it go just to have a more peaceful life.
Photo by Richard Felix on Unsplash
3. Successful people wont struggle upon "Need vs Want". They simply focus on getting what they want.
Look at all those successful and young high-level management and entrepreneurs. They all have a strong desire and clear and ambitious goal and they relentlessly work to achieve them.
- Trying everything to secure the funding
- Advocating their vision like a mad man
- Stalking their clients to the washroom
- ... ...
So stop pretending that you do not care.
If you want something, go and get it! This is only way to live!
