Dear Readers,
Thank you for coming here!
My boss recommended the book to me because I needed to simplify better.
But I found similarity of this book with my blog — fail to succeed with real personal experiences.
I was never shy to share my failures with you in this blog — that is also part of why I do not disclose my identify in this blog.
So if I ever become successful, you know there is nothing superior about me. I just failed more times and in more stupid ways.
Till next time!
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Dear Readers,
Thank you for coming here!
“Being a manager means you cannot always be the nice guy you want to be”
I have been told this a while back. But I kind of refused to accept it.
So I have been trying my best to deliver quality results while being nice, even though this often means I have to work extra hard and even though sometimes I do not even get the recognition/understanding for my good intention.
But just as all people who do not accept reality, I come to the pivotal point.
I start to push harder and demand more, while knowing that this is still within the reasonable range.
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I know it is the right thing to do.
After all, the success of the team depends on every member of the team doing their part.
Otherwise, the team wont be as efficient or effective as it should be, even though some members are willing to take the extra load.
Just imagine when such a team goes head to head against another team which has a manager who can ensure everyone in his/her team does their part.
The first team will lost, no matter how hard the manager works.
And when that happens and everyone in that team loses their jobs, it is hard not to pin the manager on the failure board. How hard he works does not matter.
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Again, I know that is the right thing to do, but what surprises me is team’s reaction.
There is no tough resistance. Some of them are even more motivated and happier.
They feedback that they have clearer idea on the expectation and what to do and are learning more. They have to work more, but it is worth it.
The outcome is that delivery improves and I work less.
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To ensure team productivity, there has to be someone in the team pushing the boundaries of possibility.
As the manager, there is no excuse.
A manager’s job is not to be a nice guy, but to lead the team to success.
To us all!
Till next time!
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Dear Readers,
Thank you for coming here!
Contrary to popular belief, I now realize that keep trying and trying harder may not increase our chances for success.
There are two reasons:
Compared to the #1, #2 might be more common and dangerous.
Being in #1, we will be miserable and we will find ways to get out sooner or later.
Being in #2, we might have the illusion that we are making progress. And worse still, we could really be deep in our comfortable zone and do not want to get out.
To counter #2, I think 3 things are important:
Do not ask me how to achieve the above 3 things. I do not know yet.
Let’s work and let’s figure it out.
Till next time!
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Dear Readers,
Thank you for coming here!
I have always defended gaming, especially when there are some researches showing that gaming can improve reflexes etc.
But the reason is mostly because I am hooked in gaming. And also I do not observe much negative impact on me.
But recently, I realized that the most significant impact of gaming might be to inject “Cheats habit” into players’ mind.
In games, “Cheats” help us beat the game effortlessly.
And if that becomes a habit, we may transfer that kind of behavior into real life.
And things work differently in reality than in games.
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And it is not only gaming that might do this to us.
In Chinese Kongfu movies/novels, it is far too common that the character falls into a cave or a lake and then discovers some superb marshal arts manual or weapons. And then he emerges as the best Kufu master, takes his revenge, gets the perfect girl and rules the world.
Here, the marshal arts manual and the weapons are the “Cheats”.
In western super hero movies/comics, people get their super power from accidents. For example, Spiderman gets it from a spider bite and Hulk from a failed experiment. And then they rely on that super power to save humanity.
Here, the accidents, the bite or radiation, are the “Cheats”.
…
Certain things in real life does that to us as well.
So many “career experts” claim that the secret to career success is “Guanxi”.
So many “education experts” claim that the key to good academic results is memory techniques.
So many “corporate experts” claim that the differentiator for great enterprises is innovation.
…
Here, the secret, key and differentiator are the “Cheats”.
And they are probably its most tricky form because they are partly true. They just assign too much weight to the factors they would like to focus on.
“Guanxi” does help career success. There are too many success cases to prove it. But depending on it solely will surely set us up for failure.
Similarly for memory techniques to academic results and innovation to enterprises.
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These very very attractive “Cheats” are shortcuts that do not really exist in reality.
They might seem to exist, but they do not.
Once we fall into the habit of relying on “Cheats”, that is the beginning of the bitter end.
Gradually, we convince ourselves to believe in more and more “cheats” and waste time and money on them, without any sustainable results.
A good example is my investment journey.
I changed my approach from Dollar Cost Averaging (DCA) into broad indexes to buying individual stocks, just because my wife’s return surprised me.
And then I started speculating.
All this while, I never really sat down to research a sector or company.
Even by luck, I had very good returns in the first few months, I was not able to pocket it.
And now I am sitting at huge losses.
In comparison, to select the DCA approach to kick start my investment journey, I spent months in researching and only after that, I made the decision based on my style and sound logic.
And even if it did not bring me stellar returns, I was seldom in the Red Zone.
The misconception of reality will translate into tangible losses.
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The only way to achieving something in reality is to understand how things work and put solid efforts into it.
“Cheats” simply brings failure.
Till next time!
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Dear Readers.
Thank you for coming here!
World is full of danger, but fear is a choice.
We know the danger is real, because shit has happened so many times;
We know the fear is real, because we have been put through very difficult situations so many times.
We can be extremely conservative to avoid the danger as much as possible.
But that could be the danger itself.
One typical example is someone saying “No” to better job offers to avoid the risk in the transition and the “danger” of “cannot make it”.
However, the danger will be real when his current job goes downhill or when his growth potential disappears.
He may not be able to secure another comparable position when he needs to, because he has been in his comfortable zone for too long.
So it is “danger” no matter he takes the offer or rejects it.
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So how?
While it is a fact that the danger exists, it is a choice how we deal with the fear.
From a practical point, focusing too much on fear only paralyzes us. We have to live with it and be cautious along the way.
To do that, it is advisable to think it through before making the decision.
A good tool is the Six Thinking Hat, where we take on different “roles” and “perspectives” to assess the same issue.
That way, we are our own “Think Tank”.
While “Blue” and “White” hats typically are used in the beginning of the process, there is no restriction on the sequence of the hats and how many times we can put on each hat.
From my experience, decision typically comes to us while we have the “RED” hat on, which means we start to feel confident that this is “right” or “wrong” after round(s) of collecting facts and information, structuring thoughts, assessing positive and negative aspects and trying to come out with creative ideas to deal with problems at hand.
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| From Internet |
However, no methodology or tool can guarantee right decisions.
So the next part is implementation and consequence management.
During implementation, it is important that we stay cautious.
The biggest risk comes when we start to feel too confident or even arrogant after some intermediate successes.
We start to get lazy.
We start to base our decisions on imaginations, instead of facts.
We start to think we are above certain things or people.
We start to avoid communication and feedback.
etc etc
Mistakes are almost bound to happen and they will mostly likely take us by surprise.
The result?
Serious set-backs, painful experiences and even scars.
Their impact can last well beyond the short term.
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We do our best in implementation.
But when consequences happen, no matter the reason, we need to accept them, bear them and take the full responsibility for them.
Afterwards, we will work to improve things.
It is almost never the end game unless we accept it.
And when a door closes, a window will open.
No need to hurry. It could take some time for us to see the window.
The most important thing is to put ourselves together and set out again.
Never underestimate our own resilience.
And by the way, this will happen a few times in life for most people.
We just cannot avoid them.
Call it fate.
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If we are blessed with success at the end of implementation, enjoy it and use it as our next starting point if we want to keep going (no shame in stopping if that is what we want).
Most importantly, never forget to be grateful.
Remember there are people who are equally qualified for success, but suffering from set-backs due to factors they have little control over.
If we know them, we should help them.
What comes around goes around and what goes around comes around.
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Danger is a fact, but fear is a choice.
We have to live with fear and keep going forward.
Try to think it through before making decisions.
Try to stay cautious during implementation.
Bear the consequences and work to improve things.
When met with success, be grateful and help others.
To us all!
Till next time!
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Dear Readers,
Thank you for coming here!
If you have attended job interviews before, have you ever wondered what people who sit on the opposite side of the table or camera are thinking, while you show off your experiences and smart responses?
I conducted 15 interviews in the past 4 working days.
I have conducted interviews before, but never of this scale or intensity.
And I have something to share with you.
Interviewing candidates and trying to pick the right one is hard work.
First of all, you have to write the JDs and fix the title, grade, pay range…
Then, you have to go through several dozens of resumes to pick the candidates for interviews.
Then, you have to prepare the questions for the interviews so that you give the candidates opportunities to showcase their qualities and fit.
Then, you have to make yourself available, which could mean a lot of rescheduling and over time.
During the interviews, you have to explain the role and your expectations to the candidates, 15 times of the same conversation.
You have to ask candidates questions and listen to their responses and observe their behaviors.
Then you have to tailor the subsequent questions and try to have a conversation.
Then you ask them whether they have any questions and answer them.
All the while, you are trying to have a good read on his/her fit, and form your opinion and fill in the evaluation form.
Meanwhile, you try to make the interview a good experience for the candidates, so that they do not feel frustrated or a waste of time afterwards.
After the interview, you have to compare notes with other interviewers and see whether you miss any important points and seek confirmation on points you are unsure about.
If there are written cases, you have to prepare, distribute and grade them…
Of course, HR will always come with admin procedures you have to follow.
…
It is freaking hard work.
When you interview the candidates, you have the power to grant or deny them the opportunity.
Of course, you have to try your best to be fair to each candidate, no matter how impossible it is and how cracked your brain is already.
And sometimes, you really struggle between the best fit and the one you really want to help.
Inevitably, you will encounter candidates who are innocent and in the position of needing help.
You can be sure that he/she will be grateful for the opportunity and he/she will try his best to do well.
At the same time, you know well that another candidate is more capable.
On paper it is easy. You pick the one who you believe will be the best for the company.
In reality, it is less straightforward.
How can you know that the commitment would not bridge the gap of skills and eventually perform better?
How can you measure the value of a grateful employee?
This usually leads to heated debate among the interviewers.
Interviewers go through all the hard work and struggles to select the right candidate for the position.
So they really want you to succeed. That means their job is done.
So do yourself a favor and come ready to show your best qualities for this job.
And sometimes, just showing your commitment is enough.
After the first two days, we were so frustrated as we could not see any good candidate.
One of the directors said:
Unfortunately, no one did.
And the process had to go on.
I really feel bad for the three internal candidates. The role is a promotion for them and they could just grab it with some initiative on their end.
Therefore, prepare, show your commitment and help the interviewers select you and end the process.
In the end, maybe we can conclude with a random question.
What do you think is the job that is very easy to get but very hard to perform and most people love the interviews?
Leave your comment below :)
Till next time!
Dear Readers,
Thank you for coming here!
It has been a while since we we had the last entry on “Good Employee” series.
Here comes the Part 7 — To be an effective employee, we need to have the “picture”.
The picture that allows us to visualize the end-state and to communicate it clearly.
The picture will enable us to plan backward so that we know by when we need to accomplish what by who.
This is the basis of good project management and the planning will assure your managers and colleagues that you have things under control.
This also is critical in stress management. Knowing that we have things under control is greatly relieving.
This is of course hard.
We need adequate understanding of the related areas, structured thinking, team management skills, just to name a few.
We also need some imagination to pick up the potential points of risks and then plan the mitigation and back-up options.
Experiences do help!
Being able to communicate the picture clearly and make your audience understand is more important and a lot harder to do.
I always knew it would be hard, because people are very likely on different frequencies, due to background, experiences, education etc etc.
However, I never expected it to be so hard.
Previously, even as a consultant when I had to communicate with people I do not know at all, I could typically manage it.
I could adapt to their styles and habits fairly quickly. After all, it was my job to make them understand and cooperate.
However, things are different now.
My new boss posted a huge challenge for me.
I just could not seem to reach the common understanding with him. Even when I thought we did, we did not, because he expected totally different things from what I delivered next time we met.
This added a lot of frustrations and pressure.
After a while, I think I kind of figured out the reason — we were talking about different “pictures”.
He was always talking about the long-term picture and I was always trying to explain and align with him the intermediate picture which was realistic and executable given our resources.
He got frustrated because he simply wanted his picture.
I was frustrated because I told him I understood his long term picture and now I would like to discuss with him what we can do to achieve it in a realistic way. Or at least, we should agree on the expectations before our next meeting.
Once I realized it, the communication has become much better.
I will simply ask him “what do you think we should do now before we meet next week?” and if he has no clue, I give him my suggestions.
This seemed obvious and unnecessary to me as well at first. But that question clearly told him that we now discuss what we do today or this week.
That establishes a common platform.
It is ok if he does not have a clue or he does not care. I will simply give my suggestions.
Sometimes, the solution is so simple.
Simple solutions typically require clear and deep understanding which is not simple to do though.
Getting to the root cause is not easy.
Based on my experience, I offer four pieces of suggestions.
This is the most intuitive thing to do.
We want to explain and make people understand our pictures, so just show them.
This will be much more effective than just explaining verbally.
If we are building a PowerPoint deck, show the dummy deck.
If we are doing an analysis, show the scenarios — what are the possible outcomes and each possibility will lead to what conclusion.
If we are organizing a meeting, show the picture of the meeting venue, layout of chairs etc etc
As much as we can, we should standard rules of engagement.
For example, terms.
In the professional world of phones, here are the terms that should be used across the board.
For example, deadlines.
When we set a deadline with external clients, we expect our internal preparation to be fully completed, reviewed and finalized 24 hours before the deadline.
For example, data update cycle.
If we are doing analysis in Feb, data needs to be updated at least till Jan.
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This is similar to Point 2. However, this refers to things that cannot be explicitly communicated.
I remember a documentary on The Blue Angels flight demonstration squadron.
The pilots said they spent pretty much all the time together to understand how each other thought so that they could sync up their actions to complete the beautiful maneuver without crashing into each other.
Most jobs do not require this level of sync up. But spending more time together seems to be a good way to sync up.
Of course, with every encounter, we think, analyze and summarize. This will speed up the process.
If we could have the picture and make people understand it, we send the strong signal that we have this area under control, which sets the stage for career success.
On the other hand, if we could perfectly understand the pictures of our managers, or even come out with the pictures before he does, we are on our way to become indispensable.
Till next time!
Dear Readers,
Thank you for coming here!
My progress has again been hindered by the mistake I made 3.5 years ago.
Fair or not, it is what happened.
However, I feel not so bad about it this time!
Naturally, I was again brought back to the scene mentally.
I thought I would again feel wronged and feel like shit for a while and then helplessly move on, like so many times in the past.
To my surprise, I found myself recalling only the good “reactions” of the people involved, and that made me feel better.
Previously, I always thought I did not deserve it and resented the behaviors of some people involved in the incident.
They could have easily prevented the incident from happening. Instead, they made things worse unnecessarily.
Previously, I also told myself that I could only blame myself . But that was mostly from a practical point of view.
Punishing those people is not within my circle of influences. If it were, I believe I would have acted long time back. So I told myself I could only blame myself.
Now, however, I think I really see the point why I can only blame myself.
People were not evil and I was ultimately responsible for my own mistake, intentionally or not.
These thoughts have allowed me to feel not so bad about the recent setback.
The second reason why I do not feel as bad is what I have experienced.
During the past 2 years, I have been in similar situations multiple times.
Mentally, I have been there, so it is less scary now.
Practically, I can do much better in risk management. So the consequence won’t be nearly as bad as what I experienced last year.
The third reason, probably also the most important one, is that I start to take a different perspective.
Will it really be better for me to lead a busy and tough life with the hope to become successful and rich one day, compared to living a relaxing life where I can probably still have enough money to get by?
I have always pursued the former, because I want to have options, because I have the desire to prove myself and because I have been educated to do so.
After the incident, I had one more reason to stick to the former. I really do not accept that one single mistake can limit my life in any way.
I have been fighting against it.
I never really allowed myself to think about what I really want. I never thought I deserved the “luxury”.
But once I start to take that thoughts, things look different.
All the lost opportunities during the past 2–3 years, including the recent one, are basically just “trades” — I spend much more time in work and expose myself to much more pressure, to trade for much more learnings, money and higher positions.
I did not get those opportunities and therefore, I had time to maintain this blog and do many other things, including sitting in the sofa and look stupid.
The opportunities are not pure gain or loss situations. They simply allow me the option to carry out the trades.
I have been miserable for being denied those options to trade.
I have never evaluated whether those trades are indeed good for me. If they are not, why would I need the options in the first place?
Since fate has been so insistent in keeping me in the latter, maybe I should accept and relax and see where life takes me.
I can give up planning everything ahead, worrying about potential risks in the future that may never happen, and taking all the responsivities on my own shoulder. I can simply relax.
A joke was very popular over the internet a decade ago:
Once a wise man gave his opinion:
Maybe I can just relax and things could just work out, because so far, it surely feels “The harder I fight, the deeper I am trapped”.
Till next time!
Dear readers,
Thank you for coming here!
Focus on external factors for success and internal factors for failure
If you grow up in Chinese culture, I am sure you have heard this many times.
It is usually used to educate us to stay modest and keep improving.
For most of us, we received it from our parents or teachers and we just accepted it without question until it became the “culture” or “attitude” we took for granted.
However, most of us had the moments when we doubted it and even felt unfair. How come I always came hard on myself and still was not as successful?
First of all, this “attitude” could never guarantee success. Very few things in this world can.
It can only guide us, if we still believe in it, to focus on improving ourselves, which is probably the most certain way to increase our chance for success.
Secondly, we never realized the sound “logic” behind this “attitude”.
Probably it never occurred to us that we should or need to try to understand the logic behind the statement because we were so young when we accepted it.
Any success or failure is caused by the combined effects of external and internal factors.
Because the internal factors are relatively stable.
In order to complete something, what are our internal factors?
Soft ones like our mindset and network.
Hard ones like our skills and capital.
The chance of any of these changing much in the short term is very slim.
Therefore, in the short term, the success depends largely on external factors. If we want to repeat the success, we need to focus on analyzing them.
Success this time could well be a coincidence. The same efforts could fail miserably under different circumstances.
Focusing on external factors for success will help us convert the unknown and uncertainties of external factors into known and certainties for success.
Because, in the case of failure, external factors are typically constraints we cannot change.
Lack of resources, regulatory restrictions, disasters etc etc
We can only change ourselves.
When we lose a business opportunity, we can complain about lack of support from upper management and back offices; we can also complain that the client is not capable of recognizing our good value proposition; we can also complain that the opponent leverages the “grey area” to gain a unfair advantage.
However, our job is exactly to deliver success subject to these constraints. These constraints are just facts that we need to accept and dance with.
Focus on external factors for success and internal factors for failure.
This is an old saying that we generally accept and try to abide to.
However, it may never occur to us to deep dive into the logic behind it.
Understanding the logic will help us abide to it and increase our chance for success.
Till next time!
Dear readers,
Thank you for coming here!
Asking a good question is usually more important than getting a good answer.
Every answer proven great comes from an excellent question.
A good question is constructive and rich of innovations.
It stimulates curiosity, makes people think and learn, and even obtain insights.
A good question may not even need an answer to inspire people.
Then, how to ask a good question?
The ability to ask a good question is rare but much-needed. It comes from both the accumulation of knowledge and the techniques of asking a question.
In this post, let’s go through the key techniques of asking a good question: 4 Don’ts and 3 Dos.
1.Don’t ask rhetorical questions or question the audience
What is a rhetorical question?
“Why don’t you do that?”
“Why have you not done that?”
What is questioning?
“Have you considered the others?”
“Do you think this is being responsible?”
It is easy to notice that all these questions are aggressive.
Behind these questions are negative emotions, such as blaming and anger, which will not help solve the problem.
These questions will only trigger defensive behaviors on the other party and eliminate the possibility for open discussions.
Therefore, never ask rhetorical questions or question the audience
2.Don’t ask a question and then answer it yourself
Asking a question and then answering it yourself, usually is only for expressing yourself, instead of obtaining additional information.
Therefore, what you are really doing is “teaching” or “telling”, instead of “learning” which questions are for.
It only shows your arrogance and hurts the communications.
3.Don’t embed assumptions in your questions
What is “embed assumptions in your questions”?
For example, “Why are your employees so unprofessional?”
This question comes with an assumption “Your employees are very unprofessional”.
This type of question is dangerous, because the assumption may not be true. But once “why” is added to the question, your attention might be drawn away.
You are no longer focusing on this assumption. Instead, you start looking for reasons for the assumption.
This is like “injecting” an assumption into your brain.
Of course, this kind of “tricks” can be much harder to spot in real life than the example above.
But people sooner or later will realize it and will feel insulted.
Therefore, we should never embed assumptions in our questions. And we need to be alert about this type of questions ourselves as well.
4.Don’t ask “Yes or No” questions
These are close-ended questions. The audience can simple answer with “Yes or No”.
These type of questions are bad in obtaining information and bring people inspirations.
Therefore, ask open-ended questions.
5.Do apply the 5W1H approach
What is 5W1H?
“What”, “Who”, “Why”, “When”, “Where”, “How”!
Any question that starts with these words could be a good question. They could be questions on facts, logic, reasoning, relationship, time or behavior.
They are open-ended questions and do not come with any pre-judgement or positioning.
Therefore, these questions are good for discussion and insight generation.
6.Do ask to confirm the facts before asking “Why”
This is a good way to avoid #3 “embed assumptions in your questions”.
So ask to confirm the assumptions first before asking “Why”.
This way, what we are doing is trying to identify the reason for the fact, instead of trying to “inject” any opinion into people’s mind.
7.Do ask follow-up questions
One question might not be enough, especially when we are dealing with more and more complex problems in our modern life.
Therefore, follow-up questions are necessary to obtain more information and drill down to the root-causes.
Toyota has the famous “5 Why” framework to identify the root causes of the problems.
So ask more “why” to drill down to the bottom of the problem.
In Summary, 4 Don’ts and 3 Dos in asking good questions:
1.Don’t ask rhetorical questions or question the audience
2.Don’t ask a question and then answer it yourself
3.Don’t embed assumptions in your questions
4.Don’t ask “Yes or No” questions
5.Do apply the 5W1H approach
6.Do ask to confirm the facts before asking “Why”
7.Do ask follow-up questions
The goal of asking questions is effective communication, new learnings and to solve actual problems.
It is not for blaming others or expressing ourselves or showing off and especially not for “injecting” opinions out of ill intent.
A good question is constructive, rich of innovation, and most importantly, honest and open.
It stimulates curiosity, makes people think and learn, and even obtain insights.
The ability to ask a good question is rare but much-needed. It comes from both the accumulation of knowledge and the techniques of asking a question.
Hope we all possess the ability to ask good questions!
Till next time!
