Thursday, April 29, 2021

Low Low Low

 

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!


I just feel low these few days.

Nothing seems interesting enough.

There are a couple of things going on but I cannot really pinpoint the root cause.

Maybe it is just natural. Some chemical is either too high or too low in my body.

Maybe it is the diet, or the weather, or it is nothing at all.


Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

More and More, I realize the higher we go, the more we know, the harder the situation could be.

We could see clearly how those constraints work together to block all the possible paths.

And of course, we have to give it to those people who set those “perfect” constraints.

More often than not, the person trapped is among the important ones of them.

If we are in those situations, we would think the situation is challenging.

It is if you want to break free, for which you need a break-through, which, by definition, is hard, if at all possible.

However, there could be another solution — patience!

Just wait out, for the next opportunity.

It could feel a waste of time and life. But that proves to be the way with the best track record.

And surprisingly, it makes more and more sense as we age, compared to younger people who surpassingly have more time to spend in waiting.


Photo by Giacomo Ferroni on Unsplash

We have the right not to do things we do not want to do.

We have the right not to stretch ourselves to complete tasks to make other people’s lives easier.

We have the right to ask for what we deserve.

We have the right to escalate when treated unfairly.

We have the right to…

We have the right, probably more so than we realize. 

We just need to exercise smartly.

It was eye-opening to witness it first-hand and for the first time.

We should take care of ourselves first.

Or think about it this way: nothing is guaranteed even if we give up all those rights.

We can exercise those rights right when we stop wanting things out of reach.


Photo by Tim Gouw on Unsplash

When feeling stressed, get ourselves together.

Take a walk, get a coffee or take a nap.

Clear our heads and know that the sky wont fall.

List what we need to do and organize them: when to do what with whose support. By now, at lease half of the stress is gone.

And then do it.

Refuse distractions: colleagues’ questions, boss’s requests etc etc


Till next time!

Tuesday, April 27, 2021

Monthly Net-Worth Update — Apr 2021 + One Small Little Thing

Photo by Micheile Henderson on Unsplash

Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!


So 1/3 of 2021 is gone! Time flies!

This update comes one day ahead of schedule, 

partly because I found time to update my TNW tracking sheet last night and I got up a bit earlier today to complete the blog, 

partly because of the small little thing I would like to recommend with the expiry date on 30th Apr. So I do not want to waste another day.



Photo by Fabian Blank on Unsplash

But the monthly update first.

It is ok-ish!


Net-Worth increase from last month: 15.42K SGD, -0.23KG Gold

It is an “OK” month.

We had our salaries and we recovered a bit from the stock market.

And we had a major insurance bill this month.

All in all, it is an “OK” month.

The increment in terms of Gold is negative, simply because the gold price increased. So I am worth less Gold than last month ;).


Investment: 6.14% annualized return, incl. dividend

It is a pretty good improvement from last month.

E-cigar picks up across the board, which really helped. This industry is really prone to policies.

I have not added positions for a while. And I will start to take a closer look from now on.

The season for annual reports is mostly over and I think the risk of another big drop is very low. It may still fluctuate.

So I tend to throw my limited capital in and wait for the rebound.

Happy investing!



https://j.moomoo.com/005e3M

Here comes the small little thing.

(This is not a sponsored post.)

You probably have seen the ads. It has been all over Singapore and it expires on 30th Apr, 3 days from now.

I did it yesterday with an invitation link from a friend. 

The opening of account took me a minute with Singpass. I linked with my DBS multiplier account and the deposit of fund (SGD 2700) took another minute. 

The whole process was super smooth and intuitive and I have got the Apple share and 30SGD cash coupon.

So if you have not seen the ads for some reason and are interested, I would suggest you to take advantage of it.

For the 2–3 minutes, you get

  • 1 free Apple Share
  • 30 SGD Cash Coupon 
  • 90 days commission-free trading
  • free market data 

It is pretty worthwhile. 

And the only downside might be one more investing account to maintain. 

I will just buy index and leave it there. For now, my major investing account would still be IB.

If you tend to trade more frequently, the commission-free trading is even more valuable.

Again, I would suggest you to take advantage of this. And if you use below link, you and I will both get the 30SGD Cash Coupon.

https://j.moomoo.com/005e3M

Enjoy!


Till next time!

Sunday, April 25, 2021

My Market Transactions — Wk17 2021

 

Photo by Chris Liverani on Unsplash

Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!


Here is another update on the transactions.


Capital injection: None

My schedule finally improved. And I caught up with my sleep during the weekend. It feels good.

I cannot help but noticing that my workload last week was only a fraction of what I could handle a few years back and I felt so loaded. 

Maybe I got old. Maybe I just do not believe it any more.

I still did not do any capital injection for the past week, but I plan to do so by mid of May. I do feel the possibility of another significant drop is very low.

Last Friday was the best day for me in a while. Way to go!

Photo by Austin Distel on Unsplash

Capital outflow: None

Again, this is not the time to sell.

Happy investing!


Till next time!

Thursday, April 22, 2021

You want to win or win the debate? — why “winning the debate” might also matter?

 

Photo by GR Stocks on Unsplash

Dear readers,

Thank you for coming here!


You might also know the famous phrase: unsuccessful people aim to win the debate while success people aim to win.

It is a great reminder that we should focus on the end goal and avoid wasting too much energy on distractions. 

It is also a great reminder that we should sometimes avoid heated debate that does not matter that much but damages relationship, so that we do not create unnecessary obstacles in our path to “win”.

The reminders are important because what they remind us not to do is exactly what our instincts drive us to do.

Focusing too much on “winning the debate” can hurt our chances to “win” in those cases.

However, it is important not to put them against each other: “losing the debate” or “avoid the debate” is not necessary to “win”.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

On the contrary, “wining the debate” is typically important to “win”.

1. Cognitive coordination

To “win”, Cognitive coordination is important. 

It is human nature to feel bad and struggling to do something against our belief. 

And everyone wants to feel good.

“Winning the debate” is a great way to achieve cognitive coordination, and therefore, we feel good, motivated and energized to push forward our agenda.

2. Executive presence

“Winning the debate” shows we care about what we do and that is why we invest efforts in the debate.

The attitude of “care” automatically increases our executive presence.

And chances are that something good will come out of the debate.

3. People Influence

The fact of “winning the debate” will win over people who care less because that shows power.

The passion and capabilities we show in the process of “winning the debate” will win over people who share the same passion and have similar mindset.

Consequently, we have more resources to advance our course.

Therefore, “wining the debate” is, more often than not, important to “win”.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Summary

Some statements are so well said that we are convinced at the first sight.

However, it is important to think one level deeper to explore the right circumstances they should be applied to.

About “Winning” and “Winning the debate”, it is really about focusing on our priorities.

If our priority is to “win”, fight hard and “win the debate” if it helps us to “win”. Otherwise, give up “winning the debate” and re-direct our attention to other activities that can.

The statement really warns us against “winning the debate” for the sake of “winning the debate”. And it is so convincing simply because we tend to fall into that trap so often, no matter which life stage we are in.

However, it would be total misunderstanding and stupid to completely avoid “winning the debate” in order to increase the chances to “win”.


Till next time!

Tuesday, April 20, 2021

160Hours — What I gained from the Novel

 

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Dear readers,

Thank you for coming here!


I finished the long Chinese novel at 3:17am today, with ~160 hours of reading time.

It is a really good novel. (I would say it is one of the best I have read, but I have read very limited number of novels. So I will settle with “very good”)

Having no time for a comprehensive review and just by closing my eyes, I could gather that I had gained in below 4 areas.

  1. Mindset
  2. People interactions
  3. Management
  4. New knowledge

Allow me to briefly elaborate.


Photo by Elisa Schmidt on Unsplash

Mindset

  1. Capabilities are the basis and pre-requisite for everything 
  2. Devil exists in the details. People who remain elegant after a long day of hard work says many things.
  3. There are no fairy tails. People’s behaviors are subject to many constraints and they are shaped by those constraints themselves.
  4. Taking initiatives always matters. Being lazy and passive ruins the most talent people.
  5. There is no shortcut.
  6. Bottom-line is a must, no matter under what circumstances.
  7. One’s potential can be astonishing if one really really wants to accomplish something, very often with consequences later on.
  8. Focusing too much on one’s own benefits can override all smartness and diligence and prevent him/her from achieving anything significant.
  9. For most people, they have not made the mistakes only because they have not been exposed to high enough pressure.
  10. What is shame? There is no need to look it up in the dictionary. You know it when you experience it.
  11. Sufferance and endurance is not shame, but a skill.
  12. There are so many causes and effects through one’s life. The chances of identifying the root cause is low, if possible at all.
  13. Everyone has their own fate after all.

Photo by Timon Studler on Unsplash

People interactions

Novels can be more real than biography.

They bring us into the scene of the interactions, including what they say and do and how they think, and break them down for us to see and understand.

So that we know when we are in similar situations.

And we can reflect on ourselves if we have been in similar situations.

Novels are a great way to learn about people.


Photo by Maarten van den Heuvel on Unsplash

Management

  1. Right attitude and solid actions, with a kind heart.
  2. Never let your team stay idle. That is the start of all distractions.
  3. Being passive or giving up is almost never a good strategy in competitions. No leverage = no respect/power/benefits.
  4. Build leverages and do not be afraid to use it, smartly.

Photo by Lysander Yuen on Unsplash

New knowledge

We can learn real knowledge and see them being applied in novels. Of course, expect only entry level.

In this one, I have learned in below areas which are new to me:

  1. Ways to gather capital
  2. Difficulties to run a factory
  3. Incredible operations in the area of financing and investing

Till next time!


Sunday, April 18, 2021

My Market Transactions — Wk16 2021

Photo by Chris Liverani on Unsplash

Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!


Here is another update on the transactions.


Capital injection: None

Busy schedule continues. I think the coming week will not be too relaxing either. 

For the market, I maybe looked at it twice in the past whole week and did not see any buying opportunities.

I am still in the RED.

And STI has been doing pretty well. Haha, I pretty much sold my STI at the lowest point and bought in other stocks at the highest point.

Almost perfect timing to drag myself in the shit…

Photo by MayoFi on Unsplash

Capital outflow: None

Again, this is not the time to sell.

Happy investing!


Till next time!

Thursday, April 15, 2021

How to be a good employee (10 times the salary in 10 years) — Part 6: Always watch out for your ROI

Photo by Alexis Fauvet on Unsplash

Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!


Welcome to another episode of the “Good Employee” series.

In this Episode 6, I would like to talk about our value as an employee.

It all essentially comes down to our ROI — what the employers are investing on us and what we bring to the employers in return.


Photo by Purnomo Capunk on Unsplash

I grow up watching KongFu movies and I always admire the Swordsmen and the Generals who make all those awesome moves on the back of their horses.

I have always dreamt of riding a fast horse and tour around, better even with a bow and some arrows.

Therefore, when I went to big farms in New Zealand and grassland in Mongolia, I always looked for horses.

To my surprise, horses were rare.

When I asked, the answer was “Horses are not worth it. They eat a lot but produce almost nothing. They can be used as transport but cars and trucks are better.”

The real world is built upon practical terms.

Anything or anyone that does not produce enough value becomes luxury.

And luxury, like the horses, is kept due to passion, not necessity.

This is especially true in commercial space.

You could build a business by satisfying the passion of your customers. But keeping someone or something because of passion in the process is quite unlikely.

Even Nonprofit or Charity organizations have requirements for their members.

Therefore, let it be clear: employees will be got rid of sooner or later if they do not produce enough value.

As an employee, nothing is more dangerous than becoming luxury. 


Photo by Riccardo Annandale on Unsplash

Ok! Now that is clear, let’s talk about how to increase our ROI.

There are only two ways:

  1. Reduce the investment on us from the employers
  2. Increase our value add to the employers.


There are cases where people refuse promotions and pay rises to avoid more responsibilities and at the same time keep their job.

However, this is not that common. And I personally do not recommend this approach unless you have special conditions or really love the job you do now (with back-up plans).

I just do not feel secure if I keep doing the same thing with no learnings. Someone younger or even AI could replace me the next day.

Therefore, I would count on #2: Increase our value add to the employers.

Value comes in many different forms, e.g. delivering good work, gaining trusts from your superior, providing specially resources or access to your superior, or even satisfying the personal preference or hobbies of your superior.

To add more value, one thing is certainly required: put in your efforts, thoughts, and attention. We cannot expect to be very relaxed and delivering enough value at the same time.


Photo by Michael Dziedzic on Unsplash

After adding enough value, chances are promotion or pay raises wont come naturally.

You most likely need to show you want it and ask for it.

And there are two approaches: Passively or Actively.

Passively, we could focus on adding value, open everything up and hope for or ask nicely for what we deserve, which gives the decision power to others.

Actively, we could focus on adding value, and at the same time think of the next steps: maybe we hide a bit of the details to increase our irreplaceability, and ask actively for what we deserve, which gives us leverage.

Based on my experience, I have failed miserably on the first approach and I have seen many successes with the second approach.

Going forward, I will try the latter, even though the latter does require more thoughts and attention. We need to worry about many more things.

But remember, no matter which approach you take, the pre-requisite is enough value add.


Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash

What if you keep seeing people with less value getting more than you do?

That feels like shit. I know and I have been there.

Again, look at the ROI, but from our perspective.

Is what we get at least matching what we put in? Do we have better options?

The thing we should not do is dwelling on the thoughts “This is not fair”.

Nothing and no one is fair in this world. Dwelling on that thought will kill all our passion, motivation and energy.

And it is pointless.

If you are not getting promoted, there must be causes. Even if the causes are not fair or can only be hidden under the table, they exist and you need to deal with them.

And it is not even true.

As mentioned, value comes in many forms. They might be delivering values that we do not see or cannot even imagine.

So focus on whether it is worthwhile for us, rather than whether it is fair to us.


Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Summary

If we, as employees, do not add enough value compared to our title or pay, we become luxuries in commercial space. And nothing is more dangerous than that.

Focus on adding more value by putting in more efforts, thoughts and attention, instead of seeking for less pay or lower title. It is probably not up to us.

Once we add enough value, we can leverage it actively or passively to get what we deserve.

In the cases where we keep seeing people with seemingly less value getting more, focus on whether it is worthwhile for us, rather than whether it is fair to us.


Till next time!

Tuesday, April 13, 2021

Passion leads the way!

 

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!


Past week and this week so far has been really busy and stressful.

Despite the busy schedule, I have found some time to keep up my pace with the novel.

I keep getting impressed by the characters. 

They try so hard and yet they enjoy what they do.

There are of course setbacks and troubles. But they deal with them calmly, rationally and without hesitation.

While they live their own lives, they keep connected with the people that matter during what little spare time they have.

As they progress through different stages of career and life, they stop and look back and set out again.

They are constantly on their toes. They do not waste time!

They are not perfect, but they are real.

Honestly, I want that kind of life!

Photo by Matt Ridley on Unsplash

The one common thing among all of them, I figured, was passion.

They come from different backgrounds, have different passions and pursue them in very different ways.

One was born in a very poor family and had to take up the burden to feed his 3 brothers and sisters. He wants money and pursues it in whichever way allowed. Making money turns into his instincts and ultimately, he starts to move his focus to gaining status.

One was born with disadvantage with almost no chance to go to university. He wants power and pursues it even on the cost of losing their identify. He is almost over-disciplined with no personal life. He eventually stops to look back and recollect.

One was born with a silver spoon. She wants to be successful in her field with her talents and efforts and refuses help from her families. She finally realizes she is naïve and that achieving the best to be able to help is more important.

One was born physically strong. He wants the best for his village and devotes everything he has to achieving that goal. Again and again, he is disappointed with his fellow villagers who only enjoy the benefits he brings but suspect him at the first sign of adversity. After he recovers from a fatal illness, he now patiently considers what to do next.

But it is the passion that drives them forward.

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

Sometimes, our problems can be solved simply with passion. 

Passion leads us forward, ignoring whatever little distractions along the way.

It is fortunate to have a passion that one believes in.

Sign…the ridiculous comments again come to mind:

“I envy those kids who sell their kidneys to buy an iPhone, because they know what they want and are willing to sacrifice for it!”


Till next time!


Sunday, April 11, 2021

My Market Transactions — Wk15 2021

 

Photo by Chris Liverani on Unsplash

Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!


Here is another update on the transactions.


Capital injection: None

Past week has been really busy and stressful. 

I have to say that I have not experienced this in a while, even though this was the norm as a consultant and when I felt I was making progress. 

I still think I need to be constantly experiencing this to be successful. Otherwise, it feels like I am not trying my best.

I did feel relatively good last week.

However, again, I did not really look at the market for the past week and therefore, no transactions either.

My account is back in the red though.

Photo by MayoFi on Unsplash

Capital outflow: None

Again, this is not the time to sell.

Happy investing!


Till next time!

Thursday, April 8, 2021

Quick update

Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!


This will be a quick update.


Work

This week has been the busiest one for me for a while.

Both my work and my side project reached the peak in workload in this week. 

I took over new responsibilities at work and am now in the handover phase. And my side project is reaching a major milestone.

I am also involved in some other activities. Though they do not take much time currently, they are still sources for stress. I need to manage it better.

And I found myself struggling to cope, especially when I had to attend two meetings at the same time, both critically important and both cannot be moved.

Hopefully, things will improve next week.

Compared to when I had my previous job, I am much busier now but earning less money probably. It takes time to recover from a set-back.


There are a few important meetings lined up. Opportunities to test out my Gravitas. Yay!

Photo by Prateek Katyal on Unsplash

Life

Life goes on!


Till next time!

Wednesday, April 7, 2021

How to be a good employee (10 times the salary in 10 years) — Part 5: Gravitas or Executive Presence

 

Photo by Ryoji Iwata on Unsplash

Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!


It has been a long while. And here comes the Episode 5 of the “Good Employee” series.


I recently took a training on “Executive Presence” and corrected my biggest misunderstanding on this topic: 

It is all about the “External” where one has to show by practicing and applying techniques.


Now I learned that the “External” has to be driven by the right “Internals” so that:

  1. The “External” comes across as true and genuine, instead of fake and dishonest 
  2. We do not get drained by showing gravitas

And I know I agree!


Photo by Possessed Photography on Unsplash

The “Internals” really come in below three aspects:

  1. Passion: This is the most fundamental condition for executive presence. This is what drives us to a destination and showing gravitas is just part of the efforts to get there.
  2. The Effective Thinking Pattern: We need to take a broader perspective beyond our job scope or personal interest. We need to own the responsibilities to drive and think in the functional way that helps us advance on the end purpose.
  3. The Effective Emotional Pattern: Negative emotions can break a person down. We need to be able to avoid that and do better. We need to pro-actively manage our emotions so that we constantly feel the positive and functional emotions that encourage us to drive forward and improve our performance. There is no excuse on this one for us, no matter how tempting it is to take a break and comfort ourselves.

Photo by Marco Zuppone on Unsplash

One problem I have struggled for so long immediately resonates me with the trainer’s teaching. 

I have always felt embarrassed pointing out the flaws or improvement ideas for other people’s work.

I always feel that this is “attacking” other people in the areas that are not even within my scope. This makes it extra hard for me to do it, even when I know I should.

I feel that I am bothered by this problem more than most people.

And it causes serious consequences:

  1. The organization does not get the best work delivered
  2. My managers and colleagues feel that I am too soft and indifferent to my job and the benefits of the organization
  3. I feel either wasted because I do not reach my full potential in delivering value, or embarrassed, frustrated and exhausted because I have to force myself to do it and face emotional suffering due to reactions of my colleagues who feel “attacked”. 

Anyway, it is not sustainable and reduces my confidence and interest at work, and ultimate affects my career potential negatively.

So my “External” does not show Gravitas and I feel bad about it.

However, if I apply what I learned from the training, I see a potential solution.

  1. Passion: I do want to contribute to the organization and that is what motivates me to work hard and deliver good work. Of course, it might be an overstatement to call that passion, but the intention is strong.
  2. The Effective Thinking Pattern: I will point out the flaw and offer improvement ideas for the greater purpose to improve the benefits for the organization. I am not “attacking” my colleague and I am not doing it for my self-interest. Instead, it is my duty to stand out and make those comments.
  3. The Effective Emotional Pattern: I can avoid feeling embarrassed, frustrated and exhausted due to reactions of others by managing my emotions proactively. Instead, I can guide myself to feel pride, accomplished and even superior, because that is the right but hard thing to do.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Summary

Executive Presence or Gravitas has more to do with “Internals” than “Externals”.

Recognizing our passion, embracing effective thinking and emotional patterns is the foundation “Internals” for Gravitas.

We need to bravely take up the bigger responsibilities and perspective beyond our job scope and self-interest.

For the next two weeks, I will practice by utilizing every opportunity I get to prepare and speak up!


Till next time!

Monday, April 5, 2021

My Market Transactions — Wk14 2021

Photo by Chris Liverani on Unsplash

Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!


Here is another update on the transactions.


Capital injection: None

I was busy “living my life” for the past week ;). 

If you do not know what I mean, I suggest you read my past entry. It is kind of funny if you think about it. Haha…

There is hope for a turn-around though, but it is too soon to tell.

But anyway, there is more to fear than just the market.

And I did not really look at the market for the past week and therefore, no transactions either.

I cannot help thinking about the difference btw a professional investor and an individual investor who invests his own money in his spare time.

For a professional, what I did last week would be malfeasance. It is not only extremely unprofessional, but also a serious crime in many cases.

As an individual investor who only invests my own money in my spare time, I could totally do it. 

I was busy preparing for the opportunity and feeling bad about losing it. I can totally gave myself a break which, by the way, I thought I totally deserved.

That is only one difference.

I think you can already tell that the difference in the requirements could lead to the difference in investment returns. 

Investing is an extremely complex and professional field, which should be left to the professionals, in the ideal case.

However, the well-known “conflict of interest” is the major deterring factor.

Even someone you trust can do something unexpected or even unbelievable under pressure, driven by fear or greed.

Thus the famous and insightful saying: “I trust you, just not with my money”.

This is a problem!

I really wonder why no proper solution has surfaced yet, in this world where all entrepreneurs are rushing to offer solutions to people’s problems, as a way to make their own fortune.

Or maybe it is just not accessible to people of my level yet?

Photo by MayoFi on Unsplash

Capital outflow: None

Again, this is not the time to sell.

Happy investing!


Till next time!

Thursday, April 1, 2021

“Living a life is like being raped. If you cannot resist, just lie down and enjoy”

Photo by Luke Southern on Unsplash

Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!


My progress has again been hindered by the mistake I made 3.5 years ago.

Fair or not, it is what happened.

However, I feel not so bad about it this time!


Naturally, I was again brought back to the scene mentally. 

I thought I would again feel wronged and feel like shit for a while and then helplessly move on, like so many times in the past.

To my surprise, I found myself recalling only the good “reactions” of the people involved, and that made me feel better.

Previously, I always thought I did not deserve it and resented the behaviors of some people involved in the incident. 

They could have easily prevented the incident from happening. Instead, they made things worse unnecessarily. 

Previously, I also told myself that I could only blame myself . But that was mostly from a practical point of view. 

Punishing those people is not within my circle of influences. If it were, I believe I would have acted long time back. So I told myself I could only blame myself.

Now, however, I think I really see the point why I can only blame myself.

People were not evil and I was ultimately responsible for my own mistake, intentionally or not.

These thoughts have allowed me to feel not so bad about the recent setback.

Photo by Federico Burgalassi on Unsplash

The second reason why I do not feel as bad is what I have experienced. 

During the past 2 years, I have been in similar situations multiple times.

Mentally, I have been there, so it is less scary now. 

Practically, I can do much better in risk management. So the consequence won’t be nearly as bad as what I experienced last year. 

Photo by Wyron A on Unsplash

The third reason, probably also the most important one, is that I start to take a different perspective.

Will it really be better for me to lead a busy and tough life with the hope to become successful and rich one day, compared to living a relaxing life where I can probably still have enough money to get by?

I have always pursued the former, because I want to have options, because I have the desire to prove myself and because I have been educated to do so.

After the incident, I had one more reason to stick to the former. I really do not accept that one single mistake can limit my life in any way.

I have been fighting against it.

I never really allowed myself to think about what I really want. I never thought I deserved the “luxury”.

But once I start to take that thoughts, things look different.

All the lost opportunities during the past 2–3 years, including the recent one, are basically just “trades” — I spend much more time in work and expose myself to much more pressure, to trade for much more learnings, money and higher positions.

I did not get those opportunities and therefore, I had time to maintain this blog and do many other things, including sitting in the sofa and look stupid.

The opportunities are not pure gain or loss situations. They simply allow me the option to carry out the trades. 

I have been miserable for being denied those options to trade.

I have never evaluated whether those trades are indeed good for me. If they are not, why would I need the options in the first place?

Photo by Xiaolong Wong on Unsplash

Since fate has been so insistent in keeping me in the latter, maybe I should accept and relax and see where life takes me.

I can give up planning everything ahead, worrying about potential risks in the future that may never happen, and taking all the responsivities on my own shoulder. I can simply relax.

A joke was very popular over the internet a decade ago:

  • Living a life is like being raped. If you cannot resist, just lie down and enjoy. 

Once a wise man gave his opinion:

  • Life is hard itself and it is fine as long as you have tried your best.

Maybe I can just relax and things could just work out, because so far, it surely feels “The harder I fight, the deeper I am trapped”.


Till next time!