Photo by Razvan Chisu on Unsplash
Dear readers,
Thank you for coming here！
I was going through my personal notes and I noticed quite a few “Testimonials of success” — things I imagined I would say or do when I succeeded, some of them even with sketches to describe the wonderful occasions and the wonderful “out-of-this-world” feelings.
I must be quite happy with them, otherwise, I would not have recorded them down.
However, when I recalled those pursues, either I did not succeed or the success came in an entirely different format.
Either way, I did not get to use my “Testimonials of success”, which pretty much rendered them completely useless.
I could not help but wondering why.
I prepared “Testimonials”, which means I must have valued the success a great deal, which means I must have fought hard for them to happen and to happen in that specific way I had imagined.
The result, however, was disappointing.
Why have things seldom worked out the way I wanted or intended?
And this is not a new feeling to me. I had it all along and I would ask myself why now and then.
However, I never really seriously looked for the answer. Most of the time, I simply thought to myself: this is just life.
Therefore, I never had an answer that I could use to convince myself.
Until recently…
My theory: Things seldom worked out the way I wanted or intended because of two reasons:
- What I wanted was not realistic
- I did not fully plan for it
As much as I want it or want it in a specific way, it is just not realistic. The world does not work that way.
Most of my imaginations about success, as reflected in my “Testimonials”, were centered around me being the center of the world and everyone else present would behave according to my plan.
For example, I would make certain outrageous comments or behaviors to further enhance my charm as if the success would be just a piece of cake. And everyone else would simply buy it.
It is just not realistic.
In reality, the success would be just the beginning. People would maintain low profile and be even more cautious about their comments and behaviors, because they know success could yield jealousy and fame would bring the possibility of falling hard.
In reality, everyone is the center of their own world. Everyone has their own agendas, emotions and plans. Failing to realize that would just bring ourselves illusions.
To realize, accept and embrace the harsh reality is the only way for an adult.
Time to bid goodbye to illusions and fantasies!
So, I, a man in his thirties, finally realized how naïve and childish I have been! Well I guess this is progress.
2. I did not fully plan for it.
Some of my “Testimonials” require certain occasions, such as ceremonies, to play out in a certain way, be it the agenda or the cast or the music.
However, I almost never did anything to influence the occasions.
Sometimes, it was just out of reach. How a school celebrates its anniversary is essentially none of the business of a primary student.
Sometimes, I simply cannot afford to do anything. All my attention was focused on getting the success and that was not even sufficient.
Sometimes, I just gave up as I did not think that was within “my scope”.
…
So the learning here is that if you want certain things to happen in a certain way, the best way is to consider all elements and plan for every single one of them, because the definition of success is that those certain things happen in that certain way.
So getting the medal is not the end. You have to influence how the ceremony will be carried out, so that you can “make” an appropriate occasion to use your prepared “Testimonials”.
If you want it, this is the price you need to pay and it would be worth it.
Till next time！
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