Finally a moment of break

Dear readers,

Thank you for coming here.

This entry is going to be a short one, because I feel tired and want to get some rest.

For the past 10 days or so, I have been working like crazy, 6:30am to at least midnight every day. Though I am working from home, I barely talk to my family. I skip meals and very often do not even feel hungry.

The reason is that we started a new engagement. It is a challenging engagement from all aspects. The work has totally washed away the excitement I had when we won it.

• Challenging clients:
  
• Big scope with short timeline;
  
• Scope changes whenever we have a meeting;
  
• Demand everything to be completed immediately;
  
• Seems to us that client team's full time job is to push us and to prove we have not done enough
• Challenging teams:
• Lack of experience and expertise
• Lack of commitment

Of course, the fact that I am not handling the clients and managing the team well enough is the immediate reason why the above challenges are challenges.

We finally decided it was time to go back to the drawing board and start over with this client. And thus, I am getting a moment of break from noon. At least, I should have a few hours to enjoy before the next meeting.

I held my son and let him fall asleep on my shoulder after lunch. It felt peaceful and great.

In times like this, it is easy for me to miss things that allow me free time, like my previous job or a proper vacation. But I know I am extending my capability and thus making my future more secure by going through this. And I know it is the only best way for me.

Till next time!

Everything has two sides - Advantage and Disadvantage of having a super good family background

Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here.

A team member decided to leave this week. She has been a very good team member, delivering quality work and learning fast with very positive attitude. We have high expectations for her and invested quite a bit of time coaching her. We were also discussing about her promotion.

Her departure surely saddens us.

While discussing her next step, I got to know that her family is super powerful and thus super rich and she surely enjoys the privileges commoners like me could barely imagine.

• She joined this company largely because her father was classmates with the CEO, so no interview was conducted.
  
• She stays alone and rents a 200+ square meter flat in the center of the city, because it is close to the office, and she has a full-time helper, which costs roughly 10 times her current salary.
• She probably enjoys many other privileges beyond my imagination
• And her next step was of course also arranged by her family. The new job is in a different city with great privileges and work-life balance. Her family thinks that it is best for her. She largely agrees. However, it is not totally unnoticeable that she also feels a bit pity giving up what she has come to in this position (It could be that she was just trying to make me feel better.)

To be honest, when I got to know all this, I felt a bit wired. I could not really describe. Maybe I was envious or even jealous, maybe I was a bit irritated. She had everything I was fighting so hard for and so much more, simply because she came from a good family.

The feelings did not affect me much, because I knew I had no choice but keep going if I want to get where I want to go. However, what really relieved me totally from the feelings was what my mentor told me.

My mentor explained to me that her past experience was not all that smooth and her future experience won't be either as she has different problems to deal with. As a closing, my mentor told me that:

1. The world is largely fair to everybody
   
2. When you feel envious or jealous, always realize that there is probably another side that you do not see

It is true that she can avoid tons of decision-making, such as deciding between car models and prices. She could buy pretty much everything without looking at the price tag, be it clothes, bags, electrical devices, first-class tickets, best trainers, houses etc etc.

It is also true that she is exposed to a different set of choices that she needs to take, some of which might have bigger impact on one's happiness than what we, commoners, usually worry about.

Therefore, live our own lives and be the best of ourselves.

Till next time!

What goes around comes around; What comes around goes around

Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here.

Today I would like to share with you something that just happened to me last Friday, which made me really want to be helpful to others.

Last Friday, about lunch time, my mentor and good friend gave me a call and wanted me to take his place as speaker in an online sharing event.

The event is one in a series, organized by the world's No.1 firm in this domain and dedicated to senior "Director" level professionals. Participants need to pay to attend and each speaker will get a pretty sum for their service. Of course, that money will come to me and he was very clear on that.

He said he picked me for two reasons.

Firstly, he believed that I could manage it. He had seen me deliver trainings in the past few weeks and he had even taken the initiative to gather feedback from the audience of those trainings. Apparently, the feedback was not too bad.

Secondly, he wanted me to gain more exposure and also get better in giving speeches etc.

I really could feel that he wants me to grow as fast as possible and take on bigger roles and responsibilities. And he is doing what he can to help.

He shares all his resources with me, even though I am not in a position to be able to utilize them yet. And he brings me along in his projects, both professional and personal ones. For sure, I can help him in those projects, but I am also sure that he has many others willing to help him, some of whom are surely better than me. So I am really grateful.

I ask myself sometimes too why he is helping me this much. Well, for sure, he is not "too free" like I was in my previous job. haha...

Thinking back the journey we took together since we met, I think it really came down to personal trust.

We were lucky to work together in the top-tier consulting firm. After that, he came to Singapore to work and I helped him as much as I can in terms of logistics and emotional support. And earlier when I needed a job, he immediately offered me one and oversaw the process to make sure the official offer came as quickly as possible in the "Virus" situation.

With every step we took together, we just felt closer to each other. Not only I trust him to look after me and he trusts me to be a reliable friend and team member, not only we find our ambitions and viewpoints agreeable, there is also something more. I believe we will keep working together as long as we have something to work on.

Another aspect that solves my confusion is when I read that many great leaders helped others become great leaders after them. For example, Intel founder, Bob Noyce helped Steve Jobs in the early days of his career and then Steve frequently helped Larry Page before he passed away.

So I guess great minds are just like that. They help people. Maybe what happened among the great leaders is more noble than what is happening between my mentor and me. My mentor and I are close. I am not sure how close the great leaders are or were.

I am inspired!

I will get as prepared as possible for the sharing event, not only to deliver a good show, but also to help the participants as well as I could.

Going forward, I will also keep in mind that I can and should help others. Maybe it is time to look for my own mentees. After all, we all grow old someday.

Truly, What goes around comes around; What comes around goes around!

Till next time!

"Ads" to be deleted

Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here.


Following yesterday's post, I finally remembered to log into my Gmail account and check whether there had been other comments on my blog.

And to my surprise, I saw two other comments. They were not the typical comments I expected, but kind of "ads".

My first thought was "This is good. This means I am getting some attention, otherwise, they wont waste timing posting their "ads" here." Again, thank you, my readers. I would very much love to keep it going.

Regarding the "ads", I first thought I could just leave them there for my readers' consideration, just as another source of information, because I trust my readers have their own sound judgement.

However, on second thought, I decided to remove them, because I seriously doubt the value of those information and I want to keep this blog focused to avoid wasting my reader's time.

So "ads" comments will be deleted going forward.


Thank you and Till next time!

For Vincent - what to do if you are feeling "hopeless" in career but cannot just "quit"?

Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here.

Today, I had a really good start because I was thrilled to read a comment from Vincent, who is one of my readers, aka one of YOU.

Thank you, Vincent! You made my day!

In the comment, Vincent told me that he was in a very similar situation:

- Great family with wife and 2 boys
- Feeling stagnant and bleak in his career
- Feeling negative and lost interest in doing anything
- Used to be quite a gamer

I was thrilled because I could see my post has resonated with my readers, well at least one of you. From above description, I think "Exactly the same situation" would not be too much of an overstatement.

And one of the two reasons for starting this blog is trying to be of help to you. Therefore, after reading the comment, I really felt like offering my two cents for Vincent to consider.

So here it goes and I hope it can be a bit useful.


What to do if you are feeling "hopeless" in career but cannot just "quit"?

I would like to suggest below 3 actions for your consideration:

1.  Do something, even if it is Gaming 
2.  Never stop personal growth
3.  Take care of your job

1. Do something, even if it is Gaming

The worst situation we could put ourselves in is a state of depression where we lose interests in almost anything and cannot assemble the energy to get anything done.

A friend once told me that he kind of envied those youngsters who sold their kidney for an iPhone because they really knew what they wanted (at least at that moment) and went all out to chase it. I was utterly shocked then, but I started to feel him a few months back.

So get active. Do something, anything that can make us feel "alive", even if it is gaming.

Hell, we need not feel guilty about gaming. We have worked hard, we have never escaped from responsibilities, we have always made sure we are worth the salary we take home. So no big deal if we sit back and relax and indulge ourselves in some gaming. So get the rig you have been thinking about, fire up some games and concentrate on it and enjoy! What's more, siting back and relaxing is the best course of action sometimes.

For me, I have completed "The Outer Worlds", "TitanFall 2" and I am hooked to "Fallout 4" now. With all those mods out there readily available, the possibilities and replayabilities are limitless. I pretty much install a new mod every time I play. And I can totally see myself starting "New Vegas" or even "76" if I continue to be stuck at home.
 
2. Never stop personal growth

After getting active, the next step is to accelerate personal growth. That is ultimately what we have to trade for money, positions and lots of other things.

There are many ways to do this and there are tons of articles about this. We will have to pick one that suits us and test it out and improve it along the way.

One thing I would like to point out is that we have to focus on "growth", not the process. In the state of depression, we can read or even take courses, but what we take in is very limited. And our "growth" becomes very ineffective and slow. So focus on "growth"！

One good way is to "output". Writing and teaching are great examples. They keep us active, because we have to think.

For the past few weeks, I have conducted two trainings on PowerPoint making and "Operations quick win" and I have coached a few consultants on their storyline and deck. I felt sense of purpose and meaningfulness and learned a great deal myself from these experiences.


3. Take care of your job (given virus)

Well there are two parts to it.

One is to look for a better job.

If we feel "hopeless" in our current job, it would be hard to turn it around in the short term because the important factors affecting job sanctification do not change over night, for example, your bosses, the current job scope, your colleagues, your network etc.

So getting a new job that provides better career perspectives and working environment is great way to improve the situation. That is what I did. I had my complications, but I think I made the right switch.

Do mind that we need to switch jobs for the right reasons. For example, think twice if you want to switch to a job which is not better in perspectives or pay etc, just to get away from your current boss. Your next boss could be worse. So be really clear what you can gain from your next job and what you are giving up by quitting your current one.


I understand that given the virus situation, it is not easy to switch jobs now. However, with every thread, comes opportunity. Be prepared, start applying and do not rush it.

The other one is to make the best out of your current job.

Consider reallocating our time on the job. There is no point in delivering outstanding work for a boss who does not know to appreciate. He either does not need an outstanding employee or he scares to death that you might out-shine him.

So do just enough and save the time for more meaningful things, such as personal growth or new project opportunities or even side jobs. And with us now working from home, it is easier than ever.


Thank you again, Vincent! Above is my two cents, for your consideration. I sincerely hope you will improve your situation soon. And if you care for a deeper discussion, please feel free to drop me an email. Rest assured, it is free!



Till next time!