Different take on "Trust" and "Loyalty"

Photo by Richard R. Schünemann on Unsplash

Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!

My mentor secured me an official promise yesterday that I will start drawing salary from Apr, as if I have been on-boarded.

This is great news for me, because I am back on the payroll.

Previously, I was really just "hoping" to get paid. That was not easy after 6 months, especially given that I have a family to support.

Besides being happy and grateful that my mentor kept my interest in mind, I had some different take on "Trust" and “Loyalty”.

Maybe I should have even more faith in others and take the risks and actions.

1. Not a Trusting Person

Growing up in a not-so-trusting environment and having watched so many TV drama and movies where loyal generals and advisors die miserably with their families abused afterwards, I intend to be less trusting and show this through my actions.

I seldom trust others to deliver what they promise unless there is a proper mechanism in place to "force" them to, especially if delivering their promises takes time.

There were very few exceptions.

This is consistent with my experiences and I think this is wise, given human nature.

Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash

While this belief still largely holds (I will still do the same towards most people in my life), through the years, I have learned that I do not need to be so extreme: the world is warm enough to let my guard down more often.

My first change came with my wife (Girlfriend then). She is a role model of being trusting for me (Not sure whether she made the right decision to trust me...haha) and she showed me that I could live so much more relaxed if I stop putting my guard up all the time.

So I changed. Now, I am sometimes even lazy to put my guard up even though my instinct tells me to.

I could recall a few instances that I suffered losses from. And sometimes, I blame myself for becoming less careful and soft.

But largely I am happy about the change. Life is more relaxing and I am open to exploring more things.

Photo by Dylan Gillis on Unsplash

2. I Will Change Again

However, this recent experience makes me want to be even more trusting and believe that it could be beneficial both for me and the ones I care, particularly in the career perspective.

With my old "belief", when a boss makes me a promise that he would give me blahblahblah after I deliver blahblahblah, I would never believe them.

It is not that I will refuse to deliver what he needs.

It is more of a matter that I do not want to take the risk of being disappointed. I just know that the chance of disappointment will be high if I expect him to uphold his promises. Or rather, I do not want to believe otherwise.

Therefore, between an actual offer and a promise from my boss, I almost always choose the former.

Not surprisingly, I have switched jobs a few times. So in that sense, I am not a "Loyal" employee.

A few weeks ago, I gave up the opportunity to go back to my previous company with a promotion and pay raise I wanted.

It was clear to me that I was going for the long term development opportunities.

However, I still felt terrible when I rejected the offer, because I was betting on a promise with no enforcement and this time, I was being "Loyal", against my typical practices.

Now that the "payroll" arrangement is secured, my expectation is exceeded in a way. And I get re-confirmation that my mentor has my interests in mind and my "Loyalty" has paid off.

Photo by Chris Liverani on Unsplash

With this incident, I have decided to have more faith in other people and companies and be more "Loyal" going forward.

I knew all along the importance of "Loyalty" in career success.

Intuitively and logically, no one wants to work with and promote a dis-loyal team member.

Research shows that the median tenure with their company of CEOs of S&P 500 companies was 15 years.

So I had my own take on "Loyalty" and I believe I have done quite well, even when being "Loyal" might hinder my own progress: delivering outstanding work with the best interest of my boss in mind as long as I am working for him, which means going extra miles to make him succeful in front of his boss, never bad-mouse him and never go pass him in the command chain.

And it stops there. If you cannot match what I can get outside, that is it. Most likely, I am gone.

Deep down, the root-cause is still my "untrusting" intention or lack of faith.

I do not believe my current boss can uphold his promise for better outcomes.

I do not beleive my current company can do well enough or care enough for me, an average employee, to be benefited.

Therefore, I grasp what I can now and make my own future.

Following this route, I have gone through quite a few learning cycles and horned my skills in different areas, which gave me confidence and value to be an excellent contributor in any team.

However, I have never been near the "Power", the ability to participate in determing the strategic direction, splitting the pie and nurturing the next generation.

To put it frankly, I do not have the ability to take "ownership" on any meaningful level.

It is time to change that.

I have this great opportunity to work with my mentor, someone who trusts me and is willing to help me, in a field with reasonably good outlook.

There is no better occasion for me to stay for the long term and dig deep, with him and preferably also with the company.

Photo by Quino Al on Unsplash

3. One Little Thing

Before we end this post, I would like to highlight that while "Loyalty" is important, it is equally important to let others know your "Loyalty".

I had the proper occasion to tell my mentor about the offer I had rejected during last weekend. And the "Payroll" arrangement literally came two days after that.

I think my action was also a re-confirmation for my mentor about my determination and "Loyalty".

"Loyalty" is a compliment to the other party!

My readers, hope my experience can be of help to you! Till next time!