The inevitable in life

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!

What is inevitable in life?

Apart from death, pain is probably it.

And the source of most pain for most people is the below two mindset:

1. Pain “Should” not happen to me
2. Pain can be eliminated and avoided if we try hard

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1.Pain “Should” not happen to me

We all would like to think that we are special, privileged and protected. 

If that is the case, pain “Should” not happen to me.

Therefore, there are people in pain who look confused and cannot comprehend what is happening.

In those circumstances, the only thing they can do is complain and wait, while in pain.

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2.Pain can be eliminated and avoided if we try hard

As the most intelligent being in the known universe, we believe we can change things the way we want to.

Therefore, we can eliminate or avoid pain if we try hard.

This mindset would see people trying to control everything. 

They plan ahead, work hard, make compromises out of fear etc etc

They may seem to be doing well, but they do not enjoy life.

And pain comes to them nevertheless.

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Stages in life

You may have noticed that these two mindset corresponds well to our first two stages in life.

When people are young, they think they are special and “Should” not experience pain. 

When pain happens, they go angry and confused, refuse to face the reality and continue hoping.

Until they get older.

That is when they are convinced that reality is harsh and they are not special or protected. 

But the impression of pain in earlier stage of life is so deep that they start to take things into their own hands to avoid that experience again.

So they work hard out of fear of pain.

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Clearly, these two stages cannot be the best we as humans can do.

Then what is next?

I think it should be

• Accepting that pain is inevitable in life, but with no fear
• Still loving life, filled with gratitude and kindness
• Working hard to improve life for themselves and people around them

From Author

 

To us all!

 

Till next time!

My son is so clear!! Weren’t we all?

Photo by 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič on Unsplash

Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!

My son is so clever that he never ceases to amaze me.

When he was very little, I used to sing to him to put him to sleep (My way of practicing Karaoke). 

And there was this time when I just started to sing, my son completed the rest of the sentence.

That totally took me by surprise. 

I was looking for where the sound came from and wondering whether I left my phone playing. 

When I could not locate the source of the sound, I sang again and again my son completed the sentence. Only then I realized it could have come from the little thing on my shoulder.

So I sang again and he again completed the sentence. And I was sure.

I felt so much love for him at that moment.

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Fast forward to last week.

On our way back from his piano class, he told me he had given my number to his good friend in pre-school, because his friend would not come to school before year end, and he wanted to stay in touch with him.

I was again surprised.

I recently had a new number and I never told him the number.

So I asked how he knew my number.

So he said that I was telling my new number to my wife and he overheard it.

So I asked him to repeat the number.

Not surprisingly, he got it wrong.

The 3rd and 4th digits were wrong. The rest were correct.

When I told him he was wrong, he immediately started verifying where he was wrong:

• Is “xxxx” correct? — He was referring to the last 4 digits. He was correct.
• Is “xx” correct? — He was referring to the first 2 digits. He was correct.
• Is “xx” correct? — Lastly, he was referring to the 3rd and 4th digits.

So I told him that was called “Divide and Conquer” — breaking down problems and tackling one piece at a time.

And I asked him why he verified with such sequence. 

He told me because he was very sure about the last 4 digits, sure about the first 2 and not sure about the middle 2.

Guys, he can make a fantastic problem solver or what!

Photo by Amos Bar-Zeev on Unsplash

After praising him and again feeling so much love for him, I realized I was clever like him as well when I was little.

Math, singing, dancing, poem..you name it.

And then it came to me “Weren’t we all?”

We were all “clever” and surprised others in some areas. 

But we feel it less and less when we grow up.

Education system could be part of the reason.

The fact that we have to deal with more complex problems could be another.

The culture, social dynamics etc could be another.

…

The list goes on.

And we change by learning certain things and giving up some others. We call it growing up.

But maybe we should hold on to that thing which we do without realizing it and we surprise others with it.

Maybe growing up can wait as well, like so many other things.

 

Till next time!