Almost certain failure, but I feel ok

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!

Got some feedback. There is skill gap btw what I have and what is required for the job. 

This is bad, meaning most likely an improvement program and potential exit afterwards.

Funny how things turn out.

I was so sure that this job would be the perfect new beginning for me and I went all in from Day 1. 

But it is what is it.

Funny how quickly people realize their limits.

I always believed that I could do any job given the opportunity.

Now it seems that I have reached my ceiling. And that ceiling is not even high.

But I wont just accept it. I knew all along that one failure would not mean the end of the world.

I am not giving up. I will keep going and push that ceiling, here or not, one way or another.

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But what feels strange is that I feel ok.

If this happened a few years back, I would have done below two things, probably repeatedly.

1. Working my ass off — not really caring about the outcome, just so that I feel better because I can trick myself into believing that I am trying my best
2. Blaming myself to death

But I had none of that this time.

I still keep trying after getting the feedback, learning everything I could, but not too hard.

I still express my hope and commitment to make it work, but only as what it is — I can be useful to the firm if I make it, not trying to impress anyone by pledging myself to their causes.

I still care about the results, but not too much to disturb my inner peace.

I think this is growth.

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What happens next is out of my hand.

I can only try my best for the next few weeks — this should be good enough for me.

 

Till next time!

Keep trying, and success is not guaranteed

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!

Contrary to popular belief, I now realize that keep trying and trying harder may not increase our chances for success.

There are two reasons:

1. We might be on the wrong track or just in an environment that would not support our success. Maybe we are doing work that we are not good at. Or maybe some factors just prevent us from realizing our full potential. Take for example the former team member in my previous post.
2. We might be doing the same things over and over again without improving. 

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Compared to the #1, #2 might be more common and dangerous.

Being in #1, we will be miserable and we will find ways to get out sooner or later.

Being in #2, we might have the illusion that we are making progress. And worse still, we could really be deep in our comfortable zone and do not want to get out.

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To counter #2, I think 3 things are important:

1. We need to master the effective and efficient way of learning in whatever we do. Different ways of learning might work for different domains and definitely for different persons.
2. We need to keep practicing and improving. 
3. We need to keep high-quality thinking all the time!

Do not ask me how to achieve the above 3 things. I do not know yet.

Let’s work and let’s figure it out.

 

Till next time!

My Market Transactions — Wk25 2022

 

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!

Transaction for past week: Nil

 

Again, I am warming up.

Have a great week!!!

Till next time!

A former member of my team quit and I am happy for him

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!

He messaged me and updated me his decision to move out of the firm. I am happy for him.

He was the team member that got me struggle whether to keep him on.

He tried so hard…

• He worked late almost every day
• He tried his best to deliver within timeline
• He took every opportunity to go extra miles to impress me
• He did not mind re-doing the staff over and over again
• He was really cooperative and took whatever tasks that came his way
• He asked for work whenever he had some spare capacity
• …

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But he just could not hit the nail…

• He made repeated basic mistakes, like excel formulas and basic formatting requirements
• He lacked logical sense, messing up previous work
• He completed 2/4 tasks and came telling me he was done
• …

As a result, I had to check everything he did, redo much of it and could not trust him with any critical tasks.

I ended up spending much time doing his job…

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When the time came to decide whether to keep him on, I really struggled.

I really wanted to help him, but I could not afford to keep doing his job on top of mine…

So I let him go, after giving him honest feedback and telling him that he needed a hard re-set before he could make it work and trying harder would probably not be the answer. 

(To be honest, project leadership wanted to get rid of him to save budget. I was definitely affected by that also.)

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He took some time off and updated me that he had decided to quit.

I am honestly happy for him.

Apparently, he tried his best and the firm gave him enough opportunities. It did not work.

But with his commitment, I am sure he would do well in a different environment, which would give him the re-set he needs as well.

I am happy for him and Who knows, I might join him.

 

Till next time!

Monthly Net-Worth Update — Jun 2022

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!

Half of 2022 is gone! How time flies!

H1 has been challenging on multiple fronts.

• Dead bad investments
• Negative net-worth growth for 3/6 months;
• Challenging work with not enough progress. I might have to look for exit soon
• Got Covid and still suffering from cough and stomach problems after more than 2 weeks.

… …

But there are things to be grateful for too.

• My family is all good and they love me and I love them!
• Some people care about me at work, which means there is still some hope!

In summary, H1 has been tough for me. But I still look forward to H2 with hope and willingness to make more efforts! 

For people who care about me and for me!

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Below is what you are here for — summary of our Net-worth for Jun 2022.

 

Net-Worth increase from last month: 35K SGD, 0.34KG Gold

The increase was mainly from predictable sources, e.g. salary, interest, CPF, dividend etc.

My investment portfolio recovered a little bit, which also contributed to the Net-Worth increase.

As for Gold, the price increased a bit and we ended up with 0.34KG increment.

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Investment: -15.9% annualized return, incl. dividend

Slight improvement, but barely noticeable.

More hard work is needed to make up the loss.

 

Till next time!

My Market Transactions — Wk24 2022

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!

Transaction for past week: Nil

 

But IWDA has dropped below 70... It is tempting. I am warming up.

Have a great week!!!

Till next time!

We only realize how weak we are in adversities

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!

It is easy to forget how weak we are when everything goes well.

We become complacent. 

The minority who can keep vigilant without failing are probably the ones destined for greatness.

But there is no escape in realizing how weak we are in adversities.

Both in terms of our weakness in solving real-life problems and in terms of our weakness mentally.

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Adversities will happen.

Best case is that we can walk out of it fast and become stronger, relying on our ability to solve the problems.

If that is not possible, resiliency becomes critical, which is our mental capability to bear all the feelings in adversity without affecting our physical and mental health and ability for execution.

I right now feel my weakness in both fronts.

While capability of solving problems can only be built up gradually, my will power will sustain me on the mental side.

No giving up and I am sure some opportunities will surface.

Please wish me luck. I am going to need it!

 

Till next time!

There will always be Fucked-Up people in life

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!

Encountered a guy in work, who is so fucked up.

He hides everything he does, so that people cannot learn from him.

He either does it in secret and only say he has done it afterwards.

Or he plans so carefully that he would do it when no one is in the room.

Completely dishonest, even in front of facts.

He treats everyone as a thread, refuses to share and takes advantage of every bit information advantage to show he is superior.

…

But I have to say he does this pretty well, given he has been working in the same domain for 2 years.

Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

What I can understand is that he wants to protect his dominating position. But honestly, I have no intention to share this domain, not even something I like.

What I do not understand is why he would not rather spend the time and efforts somewhere else.

Even if he is dominating in this little domain (which is not even his), I am sure he has his own battle to fight in other domains.

Can only say it is a perspective.

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Ok, enough complaints.

The next question is — Will I do the same if I were in his position?

To be honest, I am pretty confident that I will do some of those (not like I have never been in dominating position before).

I would want to protect some of my advantage also, not giving that away so quickly.

But I am also confident that I wont do it to this extreme.

Maybe that is why I wont climb very high in my career.

Lets see.

Life isn’t perfect and this is expected.

Let me think about how to handle this.

 

To my Readers: if you have any suggestions on how to handle this type of persons, I would really appreciate if you could leave a comment or email me directly @ t.minds1987@gmail.com.

 

Thank you and till next time!

My Market Transactions — Wk23 2022

 

 

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!

Transaction for past week: Nil

Have a great week!!!

Till next time!

The inevitable in life

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!

What is inevitable in life?

Apart from death, pain is probably it.

And the source of most pain for most people is the below two mindset:

1. Pain “Should” not happen to me
2. Pain can be eliminated and avoided if we try hard

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1.Pain “Should” not happen to me

We all would like to think that we are special, privileged and protected. 

If that is the case, pain “Should” not happen to me.

Therefore, there are people in pain who look confused and cannot comprehend what is happening.

In those circumstances, the only thing they can do is complain and wait, while in pain.

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2.Pain can be eliminated and avoided if we try hard

As the most intelligent being in the known universe, we believe we can change things the way we want to.

Therefore, we can eliminate or avoid pain if we try hard.

This mindset would see people trying to control everything. 

They plan ahead, work hard, make compromises out of fear etc etc

They may seem to be doing well, but they do not enjoy life.

And pain comes to them nevertheless.

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Stages in life

You may have noticed that these two mindset corresponds well to our first two stages in life.

When people are young, they think they are special and “Should” not experience pain. 

When pain happens, they go angry and confused, refuse to face the reality and continue hoping.

Until they get older.

That is when they are convinced that reality is harsh and they are not special or protected. 

But the impression of pain in earlier stage of life is so deep that they start to take things into their own hands to avoid that experience again.

So they work hard out of fear of pain.

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Clearly, these two stages cannot be the best we as humans can do.

Then what is next?

I think it should be

• Accepting that pain is inevitable in life, but with no fear
• Still loving life, filled with gratitude and kindness
• Working hard to improve life for themselves and people around them

From Author

 

To us all!

 

Till next time!

Got COVID and it sucks

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!

With Singapore relaxing the control measures and opening the arm to the world, I knew it would be just a matter of time. 

But when it really hit, it still sucked.

The cough, sore through and block/running nose and headache just took all my energy away (so if this blog feels funny or illogical, you know why).

As a matter of fact, I coughed so badly that I felt my abs were growing.

Had to take time off work too, which was not the best either, not under current circumstances.

But what can I do? Whatever happened happened. Will just need to catch up.

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On the other hand, it still amazes me how COVID problem can remain unsolved for so long.

First of all, its impact is BIG!

It affects almost everyone’s life. It is not some problem that only affects the “Poor” part of the world, like hunger or some other curable disease. It could affect the “Rich” part of the world even more.

The consequence is significant. World economic growth is affected. Death roll is astonishing…

Secondly, its enemy is powerful!

I mean it is us, the almighty human race!

We explored every corner on Earth and almost every other species on Earth is at our mercy. A lot would have gone extinct if not for our protection.

We sent ships to space, exploring potential colonies for our next generations.

We were even capable of killing ourselves in large scale when needed.

…

How do you beat that?

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But of course, some benefits from Covid while the majority suffers.

Maybe we can even argue, among the minority that benefits, some would benefit more than others.

Well, that adds complexity…

The strongest fortress is always breached from inside. I guess that applies to the attaching force as well.

 

Till next time!

My Market Transactions — Wk22 2022

 

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!

Transaction for past week: Nil

Have a great week!!!

Till next time!

Persistence and Consistency

 

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!

 

If you go to the gym for one day and look at yourself in the mirror, you will see nothing.

If you go to the gym for two days and look at yourself in the mirror, you will again see nothing.

…

If you track your performance, you will give up, because there is no progress.

But if you keep going, you know you are starting to get into shape. And after a certain point, you are going to see the impact, both mentally and physically.

While that point may take time to come, it will eventually come.

Persistence is key.

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Exercising for 8 hours a day will not get you into shape.

Exercising for 30 mins for 80 days will.

It is not a sprint. 

Consistency is what drives results.

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If you are trying to improve yourself but frustrated at the progress, just keep going.

If people laugh at you or take advantage of your not being good at what you do, just keep going.

Because if you do not lost faith, if you do not stop, no one can take the chance of success away from you.

And persistence and consistency will be on your side.

One step at a time will bring you to the peak of your life!

 

Till next time!