“Not to trouble others” — Is it good quality?

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here! 

I once read an article from a successful and famous celebrity-type “Coach” that “Not to trouble others” was one of the best qualities a mature person could have.

It resonated immediately with me.

I have been following it since then and have always believed that this is my good quality.

So I did not ask my parents for money during my undergraduate study, even when I had to rely on instant noodles for three weeks straight when I was on exchange program in the US.

And I was proud of it, because I did not add trouble to my parents.

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But another article I read recently changed my opinion.

It said that people who did not want to trouble others were afraid that others would come and trouble them.

It struck me like a thunder.

So I sat down and thought “Why did I not want to trouble others?”

And I came out with three reasons:

1. I was afraid of appearing weak.
2. I was afraid of rejection.
3. I was afraid of others coming to trouble me.

Guess, which one played the most important part! 

The last one.

Photo by Kostiantyn Li on Unsplash

I always believe that one needs to rely on themselves for everything in life. External help might do more harm than good.

So I refuse to ask for help and refuse to help when asked (Or I help a little). I do this even with my immediate family.

So I appear somewhat an “outsider” to them.

I did not mind because I believed that was for the best for both of us.

But then what is the point of family if we do not help each other when in need?

Photo by Mahdi Bafande on Unsplash

Maybe it is time to trouble others, even when I do not really need help.

Maybe it is time to start helping others when asked.

The exchange of favors creates more intimate relationship and might be more productive and effective than I thought.

I look forward to seeing how this would change my life.

Till next time!