“Not to trouble others” — Is it good quality?

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here! 

I once read an article from a successful and famous celebrity-type “Coach” that “Not to trouble others” was one of the best qualities a mature person could have.

It resonated immediately with me.

I have been following it since then and have always believed that this is my good quality.

So I did not ask my parents for money during my undergraduate study, even when I had to rely on instant noodles for three weeks straight when I was on exchange program in the US.

And I was proud of it, because I did not add trouble to my parents.

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But another article I read recently changed my opinion.

It said that people who did not want to trouble others were afraid that others would come and trouble them.

It struck me like a thunder.

So I sat down and thought “Why did I not want to trouble others?”

And I came out with three reasons:

1. I was afraid of appearing weak.
2. I was afraid of rejection.
3. I was afraid of others coming to trouble me.

Guess, which one played the most important part! 

The last one.

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I always believe that one needs to rely on themselves for everything in life. External help might do more harm than good.

So I refuse to ask for help and refuse to help when asked (Or I help a little). I do this even with my immediate family.

So I appear somewhat an “outsider” to them.

I did not mind because I believed that was for the best for both of us.

But then what is the point of family if we do not help each other when in need?

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Maybe it is time to trouble others, even when I do not really need help.

Maybe it is time to start helping others when asked.

The exchange of favors creates more intimate relationship and might be more productive and effective than I thought.

I look forward to seeing how this would change my life.

Till next time!

Doing the right thing, not more things

 

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!

I took the liberty to do more things, which created a lot of trouble afterwards for me, which then translated to overtime and extra challenges.

The reason is that the “more” things I did were not the right things.

Did I know? Kind of.

But it was not very clear.

For sure, I did not try to argue whether that would be the right thing to do.

Maybe I thought it was not worth it.

Maybe I thought no one would care or find out about it.

Maybe I just wanted to end the discussion.

…

Again, I let my guard down.

Again, laziness came into play.

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Be Professional!

That was not only politically correct.

It was also the best policy for us, shielding us from unnecessary risks and protecting us from unnecessary overtime.

I did feel it when I was stuck in the situation where I had to update the whole document over and over again because updates kept coming in and I needed to keep the document ready for intermediate submission.

Do not get ourselves in that situation!

To us all!

Till next time!