I finalized watched the Narcos — All three seasons. I had it before Covid and never started watching it somehow till now.
Three quick things I extracted from the show:
Corruption has no limit. The whole town, city and even country can be bought.
Commitment against all odds can bring victory sometimes, but things typically do not work out for the hero(s) themselves.
When one side ups their game, the other side has to do the same, which usually means crossing bottom-lines over and over again until no line exists any more.
Not only because of the work itself, but also because of the additional hours resulted from my failure to understand before actions.
One typical example:
One partner asked me to do something and I thought it would be a quick change so I just did it to get it over with. I did not care about that change and did not bother to find out why.
Then another partner asked me to undo the change. When he asked why I did the change in the first place, I looked like an idiot who could only respond that the other partner asked me to do it.
Most of the time, I had to undo the change and needed to explain to the other partner
…
Another typical example:
I was asked to do something and I thought that was a lot of work with not enough benefits.
I became very reluctant to do it and I showed it. And I pushed back using that.
The partner explained and even argued why it had to be done.
I just would not listen and just could not get myself out of the thinking that this would be a lot of work and now I would need to protect myself and push back.
Most of the time, I had to do what I was asked anyway after spending the time “arguing” and sometimes irritating the partners.
…
This resulted in iterations of work, which are never a good thing, especially under high-pressure situation with tight deadline.
And I looked like an idiot, which are never a good thing either.
And I gave the negative impression that I would avoid work, put myself before the client and team, and therefore, do not have enough commitment to client, project and team. Definitely not a good thing.
And I do not learn why the partners would ask for or reject the change, which is a good reflection of the way or work and also his own experiences. Absolutely a bad thing.
My lack of judgement based on right rationale could be caused by a few underlying reasons:
My lack of commitment — I did not care enough about the client, team and project
My failure to understand the reason and significance of the change — I did not know the reasons why partners asked to do something or not do something. Neither did I see the implications of the change to the client and project.
My under-estimate of the value of my ideas — These guys have their skin in the game for many years. Why would my ideas or judgement even matter?
My laziness to just complete something for the sake of completing it — I am more concerned about ticking the box, rather than focusing on the impact the box would bring. This is actually laziness.
My wrong inclination to accept or push back a change request based on the amount of work I perceived — if I thought it was easy to do, I will just accept the request and make the changes. Why wasting the time to discuss? If I perceived more work was required, I would push back. This was wrong. It should only be based on merit of the change first and only then discuss implementation.
My wrong perception of work needed — sometimes, the change was easier than I anticipated and other times, it was harder and took longer time.
My lack of enjoyment and motivation in the work — I did not really enjoy the work and did not really appreciate the meaning of the work
…
None of these is good. I need to work on all of them.
If not, why would I step out of my comfort zone and take this challenge anyway?
The stress has got me struggling what to write for this entry.
I thought of two options:
A “Minor Update” to let you guys know that I have this overwhelming commitment and my updates might be a bit behand in the next one or two months.
A “Quick Update”
The first option would mean a heads-up that the cadence below, which I have been following for this year, might be broken.
I have stuck to three posts a week, on afternoons/evenings of Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays, so that you can read them on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
The second option would allow me to complete this entry fast and at the same time, would not grant me excuse to break the cadence just yet.
I decided to go with the second option.
After all, the building of a cadence is not easy. I should not just give it up so easily.
And I believe writing is good for me, even for the current commitment and the bigger thing that is coming.
And I believe I can still manage for now.
And most importantly, I do not want to disappoint and lose you!
