Typically, to improve our emotional happiness, we are asked to examine our “how”, because that seems to be the only thing we can influence, while “Before” and “After” are facts. There is a book on this.
However, “Before” and “After” can also be “influenced”, because what they are is entirely in our perspectives.
In other words, it cannot be taken for granted that people will see “Before” and “After” as what they really are.
Hitler still commanded armies that did not exist to defend the red army at the door step of Berlin, up to his last moments.
As commoners, we probably make more mistakes in that regard.
So before we rush to change our “How”, do take a few moments to think over the “Before” and “After” to make sure that we see them as what they are.
“How” actually originates from our beliefs and mechanism how our brain works. If we force changes to our “How” based on wrong facts, we might cause damage to what we are as a person.
Just imagine someone who “really feels” happy upon something terrible. That is close to insanity.
And last but not least, it is ok to feel emotions, even the “bad” ones. Just be mindful when compelled to act by them.
This is the episode 4 of the “Good employee” series.
When I thought of this topic, I struggled to decide whether this would be a better fit for the “Good manager” series.
However, I did get this idea as an employee. It would be good for employees to take the manager’s perspective from time to time anyway.
Moreover, I am an individual contributor now (aka employee) and I do not know whether I will have enough material to continue the “Good manager” series.
Therefore, I decided to post it here in the “Good employee” series.
When I think of my past experiences, there are two types of responsibilities I take on, corresponding to the “Positive” and “Negative” mindset I follow in different stages of my career.
Type 1: The responsibilities to deliver success — Positive mindset
Type 2: The responsibilities to take punishment for failure — Negative mindset
Type 1 is like saying “Just leave it to me. I will make it happen.”
This requires motivation and pro-active problem-solving. There is no room for excuses and we need to give it our very best.
We take it on ourselves to overcome whatever difficulties and roadblocks.
This mindset usually improve things.
Type 2 is like saying “If this fails, you can blame it on me.”
No doubt, this is not easy either. This requires courage and accountability.
However, this could be used to justify not trying and not caring.
As a manager, Type 2 is a must. A good manager will take accountability and the consequences for their team’s failure.
Type 1, however, could harm the team’s performance because it brings the risk of micro-management and dictatorship.
But as an employee, we have to take Type 1 responsibilities.
We are hired to make things happen. That is why we are here. Otherwise, we would have been of no use to corporations.
As an employee, we actually do not have the option to take Type 2 responsibilities, because they always fall on the organization and then our managers first. We at most take a small part of them.
Therefore, as an employee, we need to devote all our proactiveness to make things happen.
Maybe the best team will have managers take Type 2 responsibilities and members take Type 1 responsibilities.
And, the opposite would no doubt be the worst set up.
When employees are made to take Type 2 responsibilities, they will also try to avoid Type 1 responsibilities.
Can you imagine saying “Just leave it to me. I will make it happen” to a manager who will punish you for the failure?
So in conclusion:
As a manager, take Type 2 responsibilities always (maybe this is not a choice either) and show it to your team. Be cautious with Type 1 though.
As an employee, Type 1 is the only type for us. Take it and give it our best in a team where managers take Type 2. If we are unluckily in a team where managers avoid Type 2, protect ourselves until we quit for a better team.
Strategy = Clear Goal + Specific Point for Optimization
And the key is to identify correctly the “Specific Point for Optimization”.
For a person who wants to make a positive change to his/her life, I believe “Getting up early” will be that Point for most.
“Getting up early” meets the 2 requirements for the Point outlined in the article:
“Getting up early” is definitely “something we can actually improve given the current resources” as long as we take actions.
“Getting up early” is “something doing which will create a positive flywheel”. For the least, it gives us more time to complete our plan for the day, which reinforces the “Getting up early” ritual.
Sticking to it for the long run sets us up for pleasant surprises ahead.
2.Emotional argument
“Getting up early” creates a “Superior” feeling.
It gives us the feelings of being “in control” when we do not need to skip breakfast and anxiously wait for the bus or taxi to come because we need to rush to office.
It also give us the time to do “extra” staff in life, such as side hustle, reading, spending more time with family.
And that “Superior” feeling is enforced when you see your peers rushing and not having any other income apart from their jobs.
And that “Superior” feeling is a significant motivator for us to do everything well.
We will make our material more logical by putting in that extra chart.
We will make our speech more affective by practicing one more time.
We will walk in the meeting with more confidence by reviewing the key information again.
We will build our side hustle to a significant income stream by investing a bit more time every day.
… …
We are what we believe. If we believe we are “Superior”, we will become so. Just be mindful not to lose your footing in the process, as I kind of did.
If you want to get up early but have difficulties achieving it, below are some tips that can help.
Sleep early. Ensure sufficient sleep so that “getting up early” will not hurt your health and efficiency. I personally need at least 6 hours.
Follow the sleep cycle. We are easier to wake up and feel energetic at the end of a sleep cycle. Researches suggest a sleep cycle is 90 minutes. So 6 hours are 4 cycles.
Put your alarm clock away. Make sure we cannot turn off our alarm clock without leaving our beds. Once we leave our beds, it is easy to get up.
Plan something you enjoy doing for the morning. For the sake of forming the habit, it is ok to get up early to watch a movie or play games, though it is not advisable for the long term. Just make sure not to plan something you hate.
Take a phased approach. Do not try to get up two hours before your normal timing tomorrow. Take a phase approach. Once you are comfortable with 15 mins earlier, go for 30 mins.
Do not be too hard on yourself. There is no need to get up early everyday. We all get lazy sometimes. Moreover, we may not feel well sometimes. Allow yourself more sleep when you need it.
Reward ourselves when we reach target. Life is hard enough. Be good to ourselves and be a self-motivator.
Hope we all get up early and achieve positive changes!
I can tell from my own experiences. There are so many things I know I should do but have not done yet.
It is not simply procrastination. It is worse!
Procrastination happens when we actually know and plan to do certain things. We are delaying them because we do not like them. Most likely, we will still do them due to deadlines etc.
The gap between “Knowing” and “Doing”, more often than not, is about missing the actions naturally.
We do not even realize we should be doing something at a certain point of time.
It involves changing our habit and way of doing things.
For example, I know, when an audience asks me a question, it is better for me to clarify the question and understand where he is coming from before I respond. However, 9 out of the 10 times, I still respond directly based on my assumptions.
At the moment of the question, it does not even cross my mind that I need to clarify and confirm my understanding.
This is just one of the million scenarios where “Knowing” does not lead to “Doing”
This is because “Knowing” and “Doing” happen at different levels in our mind.
“Knowing” happens in our “Consciousness” while “Doing” instructions come from our “Subconscious”.
“Doing” naturally happens without pass through “Consciousness” and therefore, “Knowing” is powerless in affecting “Doing”.
A “Trigger” is a “if…then…” program so deeply planted in our mind that it also happens naturally without the need to pass through “Consciousness”.
First, “if…” is a scene. The key here is to be very very specific, so that our mind can capture it immediately when it happens.
How specific? Specific enough to allow us to picture it in our mind.
For example, when someone says “Why is it….”, “Would it be right to say…”, “How can it be…”. Try to picture it in our mind how the scene could be like.
Second, “then…” is an action. The key here is to be very very simple, so that we can complete it with minimal efforts.
How simple? As simple as one sentence or a gesture.
For example, “Do you mean…” or put my hand on my jaw and say “interesting”.
Once the “Trigger” is in place, we have achieved consistency in “Knowing” and “Doing”!
However, we should avoid getting greedy in deploying this technique.
I suggest to try to establish no more than two “Triggers” during any given period of time.
Once they are fully planted, we can then move on to new ones and become better selves.
This is because the process of “planting the trigger” is tiring. Constant efforts are needed to inject the program into our “Subconscious”, basically forming a new habit.
Hope we all can narrow the gap between “Knowing” and “Doing”.
