It is not the first time I heard or encountered HRs who tried to make employees’ lives difficult.
But this one really opened my eyes.
She would try to undercut people by “mistakenly” miscalculating their annual leave balances, delaying their payment, pushing people to fill in forms that are not needed etc etc.
It happened to me and, from what I heard, many other colleagues.
Things would get rectified eventually, but not without repeated calls. One round of communication will never solve the problem. There would always be something else “unexpected” that would require you to call her again and again.
It almost seems to me that all she wants is for people to call her and acknowledge her importance.
The other HRs I encountered who tried to make things difficult were at least based on some company policies or contract clauses. And once agreement was reached, execution would normally go as expected.
But this one, she based on repeated mistakes. And no one is too stupid to see the “intentional-ness” behind those mistakes.
I seriously could not understand why she would do that.
She would not save money for the company because people will not simply let go the money they are entitled to by contract.
All she does is annoy people and ruin the goodwill of the company.
And to her, I am sure some people would not mind filing some complaints. Worse still, she burns bridges with whoever she deals with. And when those people rise up, they probably will rule out hiring her.
She is digging her own grave career-wise.
Or am I missing something? If so, please do leave a comment to enlighten me.
I kind of want to take some actions to fix this problem.
The “Pacific War trilogy” is so good, even though I only have read 30% of the the first book “Pacific Crucible: War at Sea in the Pacific”. I plan to finish it in H1 this year.
The book covers vividly what “actually” happened during the war, supported by a lot of first-hand evidence. The readers will get so many details comparing to movies, or even documentaries.
While reading, I could not help, but keep on thinking that History has to make sense.
Thinking from this angle, we can call bullshit a lot of the “propaganda” material, even though probably that is what we want to see.
For example, a lot of the movies and documentaries, in order to showcase courage of the soldiers and give people hope that they would win eventually, highlighted how angry and committed the US soldiers were right after the Japanese surprise attack on Peal Harbor, having seen their colleagues die and their ships burn.
I am sure they were.
But what would make more sense, as the book described with tons of evidence, was that
They were scared shit-less about the possible invasion of the Japanese, because they could not locate the Japanese carriers
Some of the details in the book (I could not remember all):
In the chaos after the attack, weapons were distributed “randomly”. No signature were required and no record was kept.
Ground defense and anti-air would just fire on anything that moved, causing multiple casualties, including the 5 fighters from “Enterprise” (4 damaged with one shot down and its pilot killed). Even the Admiral commanding the “Enterprise” were shot at when he tried to reach shore in a small boat while the carrier was being resupplied and re-fueled.
Light restrictions were way beyond reasonable level. Soldiers would shoot any lights that were on. People who did not follow would get their windows smashed. Even lighting a cigarette in the back yard were fined.
Light restrictions were not conducted in the islands, but also across west coasts
Nursers kept poisons in their pockets because they heard how brutal the Japanese were towards females in general
Rumors flew: Japanese sub-marines in the harbor, Japanese bombers over San Fransisco, Japanese landing on Pearl…Wives would screen at random rumors about the ship their husbands were on…
Therefore, even though it is good to watch those angry and committed soldiers on screen, we could easily realize that the other side would be more human and make more sense.
And that only made the Americas more admirable.
We all have fear. It is what we do right then that makes a difference.
It is not new that many people are subject to abusive workplaces.
I am no exception.
1.The “What”
The typical pattern for me is:
First, I want to be a very good employee. So I take everything on myself, even though I feel uncomfortable.
If the boss is overly and unnecessarily picky on me (actually, many times it is because the boss himself gets picked on by his boss and tends to over-prepare and dwell on the details), I will force myself to think I am not good enough and need to improve my work.
If the boss has a work style that interrupts my life (e.g. calls after 9pm almost everyday and many times for completely worthless matters), I will try my best to adapt, on the expense of the wellbeing of me and even my family.
I start to question myself why I have to take all these senseless shit, even though I am already the hardest working one in the team and contribute the most to the boss’s agenda.
I start to fall into self-deception that the boss knows my commitment and all the support I have put in for him. He is going to take care of me on pay rises and promotions.
I might try to push back a bit. But more often that not, I am not firm or skillful enough and the result is things will just continue and the boss is even more convinced that he can override me.
The boss would think I am asking for too much and do not know to be grateful.
I would think the boss does not know to be grateful and does not recognize how much a help I am and how important I am to him (usually I overestimate myself).
So with this type of mindset and totally different expectations, no meaningful conversation can be had.
And both side continues to lose patience towards the other.
Usually, it ends with my resignation and a burnt bridge.
I still struggle why I keep falling into the struggle of “over-stepping” and why I still feel uncomfortable putting a stop to it even after I realize it is necessary after so many painful lessons.
A logic chain was briefly mentioned in one of the chats with friends.
And I think that might just be it.
So it all starts with the “Source of feelings”.
My “Source of feelings” is how the boss treats me.
I feel good when the boss is good to me.
I feel bad when he over-steps and make me annoyed, especially with no rewards at the end of the day.
So to me, the key to feeling good is how to make the boss be good to me and not over-step, better still with rewards.
The logical answer is that I need to be obedient and make his problems mine.
And nothing encourages the boss more to over-step.
While over-stepping, the boss might really believe I am ok with it or even enjoy it.
And I feel worse and try even harder…
Until one day, I have had enough and just need to break the chain.
Unfortunately, after being so long in the chain, the only way to break it is with a “BOOM!”.
Yesterday afternoon, when I saw that the stock was halted in the pre-market, I just assumed that the trading will not resume until the restructuring was completed.
Feeling not happy and still a bit nervous, I took my mind off by doing something else.
And then, all of a sudden, I received a notification that my positions were sold at 60% loss.
Until then, I realized:
The trading was still ongoing. It was only halted in the pre-market
I forgot about my “Stop-Loss” order, which I always do in this kind of trading and which is supposed to be a good habit.
And pain and remorse and anger about myself filled my mind, as I watched the stock regaining its ground rapidly.
When I woke up this morning, I saw the peak of the price yesterday was almost at my “Stop-Loss” price, which is about 10% loss.
Get to the most basic aspect. Growth potential should only be based on the strong foundation that the company wont be bankrupt.
Know the facts. Be really clear on different arrangements. If I knew the trading will resume, I will probably remember to cancel my “Stop-Loss” order, especially when I was ready to wait.
Never hold heavy positions in speculation. I wished I bought more on that 44% gain and I was certainly relieved that I did not buy that much for this 60% loss.
