2022 Year-End Summary

Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here!

If I look back at 2022 a few years later, I suppose it would be significant to me. As we approach the end of 2022, I would like to write a quick summary for it.

2022 started with an excitement(1) for me, but that excitement quickly turned into a long, hard and miserable struggle(2), which caused me self-doubt(3) but also pushed me to rethink about a lot of things(4) in life. Just when all that misery peaked and I started wondering how I could ever get out of it(5), I was extremely lucky to land on my feet(6) in the last month of 2022, which granted me a new start(7) in 2023.

Photo by Riley McCullough on Unsplash

1.Excitement 

I got the opportunity in late 2021 and I was more than ready to shine coming into 2022. 

The opportunity seemed perfect to me in every way possible. I emphasized to myself repeatedly how perfect it was and I was ready to stay for life. 

I still remember optimistically predicting that we would have a good chance hitting our 40/40 target in 2022 at the beginning of the year. 

I was excited and confident coming into 2022.

Photo by Radu Florin on Unsplash

2.Struggle

I started to struggle in February when I got on a new project. 

I really wanted to make it and gave my best. This also caused me to take everything on myself. 

After working for like 20 hours a day for almost 2 months, the result was that people thought I had a skill gap and I started to doubt myself. 

I was given another chance, but again same struggle. 

I pushed and pushed, refusing to give up or give in, relying almost solely on willpower. But the more I insisted, the bigger the resistance seemed.

Photo by Naassom Azevedo on Unsplash

3.Self-doubt

The situation seemed hopeless and I was in deep self-doubt and despair. 

I started to lose myself. 

On one hand, I accepted people’s comments about me, no matter whether they were appropriate or justified. I just did not have the stamina or courage to argue. 

On the other hand, I could not help doubting people’s intention. I had always been a guy who assumed best intention of others. But I could no longer keep myself on the “best intention” path at that time. 

What’s worse, I also lost all judgement. I could not tell what comments were good for me or for my sake and what comments were not…

I was a mess by July and decided it was best to walk away.

Photo by Jill Heyer on Unsplash

4.Rethinking about a lot of things

After I walked away, I started to look for a new path and at the same time, I got the break I needed. 

I did not actively or deliberately think over what happened, I just waited to let things sink in. Gradually, different perspectives came to me, some of which were completely opposite to what I had believed in. 

I started to re-think about the real meaning of life and re-evaluate the importance of money and how much I really needed. I thought about social dynamics, being smart vs dump, hard work vs smart work etc etc.

This lasted for 4.5 months. I experienced countless rounds of emotional roller coaster. But I needed this recovery period.

Photo by nikko macaspac on Unsplash

5.Wondering how I could ever get out of it

By Oct, I started to panic and wonder whether I would ever find my new path. 

After a few seemingly-sure-win opportunities did not work out, that panic and self-doubt got worse. Even though my wife was so understanding and only comforted me, not adding a single bit of pressure, the pressure inevitably built up. 

I started to reset my expectations and was ready to compromise more. Nevertheless, there was not much I could do. That feeling was not good at all!

Photo by Matt Duncan on Unsplash

6.Landing on my feet

The opportunity finally came. 

It was not perfect in a lot of ways, compared to the previous one which I could not grasp. But it gave me the chance to start over. 

I compromised for it, prepared for it and pushed for it. The most important thing was that I got it. 

And believe it or not, I had more opportunities knocking afterwards. I guess that was the irony of life. 

But I felt extremely lucky!

Photo by Benjamin Davies on Unsplash

7.A new start

After a few weeks, the opportunity seemed good. I again have a new start for next year. I can even say that I am again excited for next year. 

But I will be more prepared this time, speeding up my learning and growth, and at the same time, anticipating signs of danger so that I do not walk into the same struggle.

Photo by Angèle Kamp on Unsplash

2022, to me, was everything but meaningless. Like all my frustrations before, I am sure I will feel fortunate having experienced 2022, if I look back a few years later.

Till next time!

Embarrassing SteerCo

Photo by Campaign Creators on Unsplash

Dear Readers,

Thank you for coming here! 

I had a very embarrassing Steerco this week, with a lot of learnings.

1.What happened?

I used a different source of data for an analysis, rather than the invoice data which was supposed to be the source data for everything.

That resulted in a baseline 6 time higher.

The client captured that in the SteerCo, and no proper explanation came through and it turned into a very embarrassing moment.

The cost was high.

If I had just used the invoice data, I would have saved time in doing the analysis, saved the embarrassment as well as the time I had to put in after the SteerCo to make amends.

The time alone I could have saved would be easily one day of work.

Let along the impact of this embarrassing moment on our credibility and other aspects on the higher lever, such as the possibility of the next phase commitment, as well as the time leadership had to put in to manage damage.

2.What could have been done better?

There were three things I could have done better:

a) Maintain professional consistency in my work

b) Stay vigilant and do not take any chances

c) Be assertive to clarify there and then

Photo by Maria Teneva on Unsplash

a) Maintain professional consistency in my work

I let my personal feelings impact my decision.

I was so vested in the task that I wanted to get every possible thing that can make it better, so that people would keep seeing the good work I had been doing.

So instead of the using the invoice data as baseline, as every one else was using and as I was using for any other task, I picked another source, which required much more work but did not really have any strong rationale to be a better source than the invoice data, apart from that it would make the analysis look prettier.

And I did not catch the hidden duplication in the data and thus the baseline was 6 times higher.

And then I was hit by the embarrassing moment and had to deal with the consequence.

This is a perfect example why maintaining professionalism all the time is so critical, especially in time-critical tasks.

Photo by Adam Le Sommer on Unsplash

b) Stay vigilant and do not take any chances

I did notice the big difference.

It did come to me that maybe I should validate it with the client.

But I convinced myself out of it, because

1. The logic was sound
2. The timeline was tight
3. Client was not that approachable as they were occupied too
4. I thought no one would notice details at this level in SteerCo, which consisted only of high level management. 

So I decided to get lazy and took the chance.

The combination of client system and the way the data was extracted introduced high duplication in the data, which I was completely unaware of.

And then I was hit by the embarrassing moment and had to deal with the consequence.

Thinking back now, that piece of “detail” was actually quite eye-catching…

Photo by Melany Rochester on Unsplash

c) Be assertive to clarify there and then

Even though it was a bit difficult, I did have a few chances to be assertive and just clarify the doubt right there and then during the SteerCo.

At least, clients would know this was not a mistake. We knew about it and we had a rationale for it.

Hopefully, clients would not walk away from the session, thinking we were incompetent.

And I was struggling all the while until the very end of the session.

But I did not.

Partly because I was afraid this would lead to other undesirable discussions.

Partly because I did not want to disrupt the flow.

But I really should have.

What could be worse than clients forming impression of us being incompetent?

When I seek guidance from leadership afterwards, they thought I should have too.

But I did not.

Now all we could do is damage management, which means work for me and for leadership.

It does seem that we could not have been in a worse position than we are now.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

So to summarize:

1. Maintain professionalism always
2. Do not be lazy
3. Stay vigilant and do not take any chances
4. Do not underestimate
5. Damage control is best done right there and then
6. Speak up bravely
7. Bear in mind that we may not get a chance to clarify sometimes

To us all!

Till next time!