Being able to communicate the picture clearly and make your audience understand is more important and a lot harder to do.
I always knew it would be hard, because people are very likely on different frequencies, due to background, experiences, education etc etc.
However, I never expected it to be so hard.
Previously, even as a consultant when I had to communicate with people I do not know at all, I could typically manage it.
I could adapt to their styles and habits fairly quickly. After all, it was my job to make them understand and cooperate.
However, things are different now.
My new boss posted a huge challenge for me.
I just could not seem to reach the common understanding with him. Even when I thought we did, we did not, because he expected totally different things from what I delivered next time we met.
This added a lot of frustrations and pressure.
After a while, I think I kind of figured out the reason — we were talking about different “pictures”.
He was always talking about the long-term picture and I was always trying to explain and align with him the intermediate picture which was realistic and executable given our resources.
He got frustrated because he simply wanted his picture.
I was frustrated because I told him I understood his long term picture and now I would like to discuss with him what we can do to achieve it in a realistic way. Or at least, we should agree on the expectations before our next meeting.
Once I realized it, the communication has become much better.
I will simply ask him “what do you think we should do now before we meet next week?” and if he has no clue, I give him my suggestions.
This seemed obvious and unnecessary to me as well at first. But that question clearly told him that we now discuss what we do today or this week.
That establishes a common platform.
It is ok if he does not have a clue or he does not care. I will simply give my suggestions.
Sometimes, the solution is so simple.
Simple solutions typically require clear and deep understanding which is not simple to do though.
Based on my experience, I offer four pieces of suggestions.
1.Show the pictures
This is the most intuitive thing to do.
We want to explain and make people understand our pictures, so just show them.
This will be much more effective than just explaining verbally.
If we are building a PowerPoint deck, show the dummy deck.
If we are doing an analysis, show the scenarios — what are the possible outcomes and each possibility will lead to what conclusion.
If we are organizing a meeting, show the picture of the meeting venue, layout of chairs etc etc
2.Standardize rules of engagement
As much as we can, we should standard rules of engagement.
For example, terms.
In the professional world of phones, here are the terms that should be used across the board.
Model — iPhone 12 is a model
Variant — iPhone 12 128GB is a variant
SKU — iPhone 12 128GB black is a SKU
For example, deadlines.
When we set a deadline with external clients, we expect our internal preparation to be fully completed, reviewed and finalized 24 hours before the deadline.
For example, data update cycle.
If we are doing analysis in Feb, data needs to be updated at least till Jan.
…
3.Sync up
This is similar to Point 2. However, this refers to things that cannot be explicitly communicated.
I remember a documentary on The Blue Angels flight demonstration squadron.
The pilots said they spent pretty much all the time together to understand how each other thought so that they could sync up their actions to complete the beautiful maneuver without crashing into each other.
Most jobs do not require this level of sync up. But spending more time together seems to be a good way to sync up.
4.Think, analyze and summarize
Of course, with every encounter, we think, analyze and summarize. This will speed up the process.
If we could have the picture and make people understand it, we send the strong signal that we have this area under control, which sets the stage for career success.
On the other hand, if we could perfectly understand the pictures of our managers, or even come out with the pictures before he does, we are on our way to become indispensable.
Sadly, many people unlock the first level with diligence, and just assume that diligence is the master key — one key to unlock them all.
As a result, they are trapped in the first level forever, no matter how hard they try.
As a matter of fact, the harder they try, the more firmly trapped they are.
Some of them will believe by mistake that the reason why they cannot enter the next level is that people upstairs have locked the door from the other side.
Therefore, many of them complain and become cynical, but never think of trying a different key.
We need to clearly remember and firmly believe that, as our stages change, some of the beliefs we hold dearly to our heart, whether inherited or picked up along the way, will become completely wrong and hurt us.
Every stage has its rules and we need to learn, experiment and adapt.
This world runs by its rules, which are deeply rooted in evolution. And it will not overly accommodate anyone.
Therefore, successful people are the ones with the strongest adaptability. They have no time to complain or have their feelings hurt.
To achieve the “have”, we can put in efforts and there are many ways.
To achieve the “do not have”, we need to pursue both internally and externally:
Internally, we can train and improve our “immune system”: healthy body, strong mind, wisdom…
Externally, it seems that we can only rely on luck. So do a lot of good things. Believe that as long as we keep doing good things, good things will happen to us.
Addiction is associated with all sorts of things that are perceived bad by people, like gambling, drugs, sex, video gaming…
I was educated to stay away from any kind of “addiction” so that I do not ruin my life.
But what is “Addiction” really?
There are many cases where I was given a concept and a lesson or a conclusion and I just took it with me in my life journey without really understanding it, let along doubting it or testing it.
This is also one of them.
I never seriously pursue the real meaning of the word “Addiction”, though I do sometimes ask myself: if I do what I like a lot a lot, is that considered addiction?
On one hand, I spend a lot of time in doing what I like a lot, which means I wont spend as much time as I should in things I should be doing, like studying.
On the other hand, I really enjoy spending time in those things. If this is addition, isn’t addiction the only way to enjoy life and shouldn’t we all pursue it?
These thoughts all flash through my mind without getting my attention.
I picked up gaming in high school when I let a friend copy my answers in the exam, in exchange for playing with his computer.
I still remember the game was “Beach Head”. I was immediately hooked.
After entering university, without any supervision, I totally indulged myself in gaming.
I played every shooting games I could find. I could literally forget about time, hunger and even myself while gaming.
And I really enjoyed the experiences and the improvement in moving, aiming, shooting and studying the maps.
This lasted for a long time.
I think that was when my “Want” and “Like” was highly aligned. I really managed to waste my life on things I enjoyed, which, according to some, was the only way to spend our lives.
Then it came a time when I was more interested in installing the games and fixing whatever technical problems I might encounter, than playing the games themselves.
Sometimes, I would also lost patience to solve the game and looked for cheats. Or I just wanted to play through a game so that I could mark it as played.
I think that was when I had got “Addicted”.
I “Want” to do something that I do not really “Like”.
It surely sounds like I have lost my “independence” and am manipulated by something else. And it is not within my control!
Therefore, “Addiction” does not bring happiness. It only brings suffering.
