Dear Readers,
Thank you for coming here!
How to have a “Big Say” in life and achieve success and happiness?
We need “Wisdom”. The world is too complex and uncertain, we need “Wisdom” to guild us.
How much “Wisdom” one possesses could be the factor to set people apart.
In life, we need 3 “Wisdom”: The “Wisdom” to choose, stick to our choice and game with the world.
1.The Wisdom to Choose
Life is full of choices and we define our lives with the choices we make.
Should I start my own business or live a corporate life?
Should I choose City A or B?
Should I marry Ruby or Debby?
Should I eat Nasi Lemak or Kway Chap for lunch?
…
Fortunately and Unfortunately, there are only a few critical choices we get to make in our lives.
However, many of us do not (want to) know we have choices and do not have the courage to choose.
Why do many of us not know the choices we have?
If you are reading this, you are living in a time of peace and abundance. You have the right to choose, which is the freedom people in history crave for.
Think about Frank.V.E., the author of “Man’s Search for Meaning”. He lived in desperate conditions, saw his peers disappearing day by day and chose to have hope and dignity while waiting for his turn.
He kept the “last freedom” mankind can have: the freedom to choose attitude.
Compared to him, we have the freedom to choose. No matter our choices, the chances of us ending up in his situation is almost non-existent.
The only problem is whether we realize it or rather whether we want to realize it.
Are we just repeating our lives every day, knowing that we are not as happy as we can be but keeping telling ourselves that we do not have a choice, because of kids, housing loans etc etc
Do we really not know that we have a choice to change or do we just not want to know?
Why do many of us not have the courage to choose?
Even through we realize the choices we have, many of us still dare not to make the call.
Because choosing one means giving up the other.
Starting your own business is exciting and fulfilling, but it is also hard work with too many uncertainties.
Going into corporate is stable with good benefits, but it is also boring and dull.
So how?
Do not escape from it and do not be too greedy.
Escaping from it usually leads to the worst decision in the last minute because we either choose in the moment of stress or someone else will choose for us.
Being too greedy is no better.
You could list out all the qualities for your future soul mate. Then you list out all the possible candidates and evaluate them with different models, and then tell the “lucky girl” that she is the one.
She could tell you “Sorry, you are not my type” or even worse “While you are busy with the evaluation, I got married.”
Maybe we should learn to accept “slightly better than average” results. It will subject us to so much less trouble and pain.
Also, we need to realize “slight better than average” is not bad at all and should be appreciated.
Therefore, make the call and then enjoy the benefits or bear the consequences.
Always remember: How bad could it be?
2.The Wisdom to Stick to Our Choice
To stick to our choice, first we need to stop ourselves from revisiting the choice we have made more than necessary.
Do not look back. Once the choice is made, focus on making it right.
The only time to revisit and make adjustment is when critical new information and development become known.
However, we need to be clear about the core logic behind the decision and stick to it.
The second thing we need to be aware of is distraction.
There are so many nowadays. They can come to us disguised as opportunities, wealth, love etc etc
The right way to counter it is a phase I have used probably too much — “Long-Term”.
Jeff Bezos pushed his “Flywheel” for 20 years and became the richest person in the world, because “It’s All About Long-Term”.
He had countless opportunities to raise the profit margin of Amazon and push the stocks higher. But he did not to stick to the Long-Term.
Probably, shareholders have doubted him or even blamed him.
Maybe, he never thought of giving this up, because all he cares is Long-Term.
Make the choice and give it time by sticking to it.
3.The Wisdom to game with the world
The world is full of competitions in all aspects.
It is an elegant technique to achieve what we want in the interactions with others, e.g. negotiations.
We need to “Game” with the world, as in “Game Theory”.
And remember, most of the time, we are not playing one-time games.
So how to game?
One mindset and one tactic.
Mindset : Win-Win & Gratitude
Always try to achieve Win-Win. This is the only way to maintain a healthy long-term working relationship.
As a consultant, say no when you know you cannot solve the clients’ problem.
In a project, lower your margin to allow some margin for the other party too.
…
Gratitude is not only the right thing to do, but also a necessary condition to attract partners.
Will you work with someone who has the reputation of being ungrateful?
Even if you do, it is only for the moment. Once the short-term goal is achieved, you are gone.
And you know during the short cooperation, you need to constantly keep an eye on the other party.
Win-win and gratitude do not guarantee the maximized benefits for us now, but for the Long-Term.
Tactic: Repeat the last choice of your opponent
In a repeated game, repeat the last choice of your opponent gives the best results, by computer simulation.
Always being a nice guy will attract bullies; Always being a bully will repel others.
“Blood for blood” is a protection to ourselves.
In summary, make your choice decisively, stick to it for the Long-Term and repeatedly game with world, until you achieve your goals.
This is what sets people apart!
This is how to have a “Big Say” in our lives!
Till next time!
