Dear Readers,
Thank you for coming here!
Here is another update on the weekly transactions,
Still NIL.
Over the past week, the recovery of my portfolio was removed again....
But at the same time, the few counters I would like to buy refuse to drop.
I guess patience is the only option.
Hoping does not change the way the world operates.
Till next time!
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| Photo by Martin Sanchez on Unsplash |
Dear Readers,
Thank you for coming here!
Time flies. Two more months left in 2021.
Short but very critical!
Here is another monthly update of our TNW.
My portfolio had a bit of recovery. It is still in deep red with over 100K paper loss though.
The rest comes from salary and CPF.
The forex helped as well.
I actually had a modest target for our TNW this year. It might be hard to hit, judging from current situation.
I definitely did not plan for the huge loss in stock market.
Let’s see.
If I miss it, I will make up for it next year.
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| Photo by Mathieu Stern on Unsplash |
Compared to -8.78% last month, it is recovery.
Hope the recovery continues.
Yean…Hoping…
That is how pathetic and helpless I am.
Till next time!
Dear Readers,
Thank you for coming here!
For the past few weeks since the extra commitment, my mood was up and down, even though not enough to say it was like a roller coaster.
The up and downs were mainly reactive, as they have always been for me.
For the past few weeks, they were reactive mainly to the challenges that came to me at work and how well I dealt with them.
Luckily, that was all manageable so far.
So at least for the past few weeks, my mood was anchored to what happened to me at work.
The level of anchoring evolved of course.
Initially, I was so used to “peaceful” and “relaxing” life that any challenges seemed a big deal.
And my mood swung accordingly, feeling the pressure of the challenges and the joy after they had been dealt with.
Now, I am more used to this “new normal” and the usual stuff no longer stirs much.
So do not underestimate your potential and ability to adapt. Do not self-limit. Go ahead and try it out.
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| Photo by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash |
But what should our mood really be anchored to?
Being reactive to what happens around us is human nature and it is also necessary for us to live in such complex world.
But mood swings mean instability and most of the time noises. Therefore, they usually do more harm than good, even the good ones.
So it incentivizes us to have a more stable/constant anchor for our mood, while maintaining the ability to react.
What should that be?
While not knowing the answer, I do think having a goal and a structure for the goal is important.
Let me elaborate.
Let’s say I want to be a successful writer.
Then my structure could be to spend a certain amount of time every day on below two things:
I think we all agree that if I keep doing these two things for a certain amount of time every day, I will be a better writer with time.
Then I can anchor my mood to whether I have done this constantly.
If I have done it, I can feel good, no matter whether I have seem any impact yet on the number of reads, number of comments etc.
Because I know I am on the way to achieve my goal.
And what’s more, it is mostly under my control, which gives stability and consistency to the anchor.
If I have not done it, it is a good enough reason to feel bad, about myself.
Feeling bad because of my fault is a motivator for me to make amends, which pushes me to keep to the right track.
A positive loop is formed!
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| Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash |
To avoid unnecessary mood swings and the mostly negative impact associated with them, we can find a more stable/constant anchor for our mood, instead of being reactive to what happens around us.
Three factors to consider while looking for the anchor:
To us all!
Till next time!
Dear Readers,
Thank you for coming here!
Here is another update on the weekly transactions,
Still NIL.
Pretty much did not look at the market or my portfolio.
Just keep holding and accumulating my war-chest.
Till next time!
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| Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash |
Dear readers,
Thank you for coming here!
It is not new that many people are subject to abusive workplaces.
I am no exception.
The typical pattern for me is:
If the boss is overly and unnecessarily picky on me (actually, many times it is because the boss himself gets picked on by his boss and tends to over-prepare and dwell on the details), I will force myself to think I am not good enough and need to improve my work.
If the boss has a work style that interrupts my life (e.g. calls after 9pm almost everyday and many times for completely worthless matters), I will try my best to adapt, on the expense of the wellbeing of me and even my family.
…
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| Photo by Christian Erfurt on Unsplash |
I start to feel annoyed.
I start to question myself why I have to take all these senseless shit, even though I am already the hardest working one in the team and contribute the most to the boss’s agenda.
I start to fall into self-deception that the boss knows my commitment and all the support I have put in for him. He is going to take care of me on pay rises and promotions.
I might try to push back a bit. But more often that not, I am not firm or skillful enough and the result is things will just continue and the boss is even more convinced that he can override me.
This would typically last for a long while.
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| Photo by Adele De Bruyn on Unsplash |
I start to notice people who say no get better treatment, sometimes even on my expense.
Since I am so obedient, the boss sometimes makes fun of me in front of the team to entertain those who say no to him.
Or even more work is pushed to me because the people who say no wont do it. I have to do it without the needed support.
It would really tip the balance, when those people get promoted before I do.
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| Photo by Dmitry Vechorko on Unsplash |
At first, the boss might want to make it up to me because he wants the same level of support.
But only to a certain extent.
Maybe a little more money.
Very rarely promotion.
Almost never to my satisfaction.
The boss wants the same support, which means he has the motivation to keep me in the same place and continue to over-step.
Secondly, after so long of being obedient, the boss has the confidence he can override me this time too.
Thirdly, respect for an independent person is usually not there.
So no one is happy.
The boss would think I am asking for too much and do not know to be grateful.
I would think the boss does not know to be grateful and does not recognize how much a help I am and how important I am to him (usually I overestimate myself).
So with this type of mindset and totally different expectations, no meaningful conversation can be had.
And both side continues to lose patience towards the other.
Usually, it ends with my resignation and a burnt bridge.
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| Photo by The Creative Exchange on Unsplash |
All those efforts, commitment and good-will, from both sides, go to waste.
And I realize it is at least half of my fault.
Maybe the boss would realize that too.
The bridge sometimes can restore. But a broken mirror is never the same.
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| Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash |
After so many struggles, now two things are clear to me:
So now, I can usually recognize when over-stepping happens and I can put a stop to it before it goes too far, typically with just a gesture.
I think people respect that.
Now, I may not be getting faster promotions and pay raises, but definitely not slower ones.
Strangely enough though, I still find myself very uncomfortable and even reluctant when I have to put a stop to overstepping.
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| Photo by Emily Morter on Unsplash |
I still struggle why I keep falling into the struggle of “over-stepping” and why I still feel uncomfortable putting a stop to it even after I realize it is necessary after so many painful lessons.
A logic chain was briefly mentioned in one of the chats with friends.
And I think that might just be it.
So it all starts with the “Source of feelings”.
My “Source of feelings” is how the boss treats me.
I feel good when the boss is good to me.
I feel bad when he over-steps and make me annoyed, especially with no rewards at the end of the day.
So to me, the key to feeling good is how to make the boss be good to me and not over-step, better still with rewards.
The logical answer is that I need to be obedient and make his problems mine.
And nothing encourages the boss more to over-step.
While over-stepping, the boss might really believe I am ok with it or even enjoy it.
And I feel worse and try even harder…
Until one day, I have had enough and just need to break the chain.
Unfortunately, after being so long in the chain, the only way to break it is with a “BOOM!”.
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| Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash |
So the solution is to update the “Source of feelings”.
I feel good when I learn new skills and improve my value proposition.
I feel good when my family are happy.
I feel good when I do not need to do things I do not want to do.
…
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| Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash |
First of all, I would like to emphasize that none of the people mentioned above is evil. They are even very good persons.
Just do not go against the human nature and how the world works.
Secondly, if you are struggling with abusive workplace, I hope this could provide some reference to you.
There are so many things out of our control. But we can control what our “Sources of feelings” are.
To us all!
Till next time!
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| Photo by Joshua Burdick on Unsplash |
Dear Readers,
Thank you for coming here!
I refer to a minor “thing” in my recent work.
I am on a consulting engagement.
One of the managers of the client is very knowledgeable and supportive to us, which is really helpful.
I work closely with him.
Following up on a conversation we had, I sent him an email around noon Friday.
He replied around 9pm on Friday.
I saw his reply on Saturday morning.
It was a time-critical task. So I started to reply his email right after I saw it.
I wanted to be as clear as possible and as considerate as possible, so I spent almost half an hour writing a reply.
While checking whether I had everything covered, I noticed that he added his boss in the cc list of the email.
So the thoughts came to me: was he trying to show how hard working he was to his boss? Would it be good to show that I was even more hard working than him?
So should I hold this reply until Monday morning?
After a brief second, I sent the reply.
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| Photo by Ludovic Charlet on Unsplash |
So what is the problem?
Well there are two.
Frist, if the manager was trying to show his hard working to his boss, my reply could hinder his effectiveness.
That could in turn affect his support level to the engagement, which would surely be a negative thing.
Second, retrospectively, I feel my underlying reasons for still sending the reply then were partly self-serving.
I recalled below reasons for sending the reply on Saturday morning:
So I decided maybe I was overthinking about this. I should just focus on the task itself and nothing else.
So I sent the reply.
While I do not know whether and how much the reply will affect the manager yet, the thought that 40% of the reasons for that “Send Now” decision was self-serving bothers me.
Maybe it was the right decision.
But even then, the end does not necessarily justify the means.
I know many examples where self-serving intent, even a minor one, ruins plans, progresses, projects, career, or even nations.
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| Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash |
So what is the answer?
I am still exploring.
In other words, I do not know for sure.
But I think it is important in the decision process that we do not lose sight of the end goal.
The end goal here is successful delivery of valuable engagement to the client.
Then the manager’s support is more important than my self-serving intent: showing off my hard working and closing the task on my end.
While it is always good to show clients how committed we are to them, I do not think the client doubts our commitment to the engagement at that point.
Then it becomes a trade-off between the possibility of getting an early reply and the possibility of an “angry” manager reducing his support towards the engagement.
We could argue the possibility and the impact of each choice.
But I think at this point, whatever decision we make is acceptable and justified, because that is our best decision for the end goal (successful delivery of valuable engagement to the client) at this point based on best information and judgement available.
That does not guarantee the actual best decision though, but it is the best decision we could have.
Also, creative options might emerge also.
For example, I could reply just to him, taking away the concern of defeating his possible plan and at the same time retaining the possibility of an early reply.
But again, no guarantee this is the actual best decision either, as the other stakeholders might not be as informed as they should be and cause hiccups somewhere else.
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| Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash |
Self-serving intent could distort our actions and people on the receiving end could feel it.
And that could ruin everything we have worked so hard on.
So it is usually the best course of action to get rid of the self-serving intent.
And it is rightfully required of us. We are serving the client, not ourselves.
But do recognize also that this is, most of the time, the best choice for ourselves too. No one benefits from a failed engagement.
So focus on the end goal and carve out the self-serving intent.
We cannot guarantee the actual best decisions (no one can), but we can guarantee our best intent and thus our best judgement.
Till next time!
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Dear Readers,
Thank you for coming here!
Just looking at the week number, we have like 10 meaningful weeks left in 2021.
Short, but still critical!
How time files!
Here is another update on the weekly transactions,
Still NIL.
Honestly, I have no time and interest to spend time on it now.
While it seems very irresponsible (I agree), I am not sure what the better course of action is,
And my path of life is hard work. So I guess hard work will enable me to break even...hahaha....
Till next time!
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| Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash |
Dear Readers,
Thank you for coming here!
This is going to be a quick one.
The work right now is a bit overwhelming. But I also fully recognize that I could have been more efficient and effective in many areas.
I guess productivity recovery just takes time, probably longer than I thought.
So really, try not to allow yourself to be idle.
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| Photo by Lux Interaction on Unsplash |
From today till Oct 28, there will be 3 VR headsets to be announced/released. Unfortunately, we are talking about US time.
Right now, I am really just looking at stand-alone VR headsets. I do not plan to get a PC just for VR.
Also, simplicity in set-up will also take a lot consideration.
Right now, it is really just Oculus Quest 2 that fits the requirements.
Hopefully, we will have more options after this month.
Looking forward!
I really see myself taking the first try at gaming and exercising at the same time!
Stay tuned!
Till next time!
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| Photo by Lili Popper on Unsplash |
Dear Readers,
Than you for coming here!
Fate does not only determine where we will end up, but also how we will get there.
At least, it feels like that sometimes.
I had a chat recently with an ex-colleague, who I am working with now for the next month or so.
Like me, he was in a very comfortable position in life.
Like me, he could not just enjoy it, feeling it was wrong and insecure to relax like that.
Like me, he “got out of his comfort zone”.
Unlike me, he did not experience any major set-back.
But like me, he was also struggling a bit, questioning himself why he could not just go with the flow and had to put himself in the struggling situation.
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| Photo by Arifur Rahman on Unsplash |
On the contrary, I also know people who are really good at enjoying life.
They may not make a lot of money, but they feel everything is in control. Even if something goes wrong, they just know that they will be ok.
I sincerely admire their sense of security and how relaxed they are.
I cannot help thinking sometimes that this may be the right way with life.
I tried to categorize the two types of people based on the background or traits, which did not really yield any convincing results.
If anything, first-generation immigrants exhibit more behaviors towards the former, while locals with big families tend to lead towards the latter.
This makes logical sense though.
Immigrants have to sort out many things all by themselves in the new environment, while having a big family locally means help and support on many issues, big and small.
Personally, I feel my path to where I belong is hard work.
The only opportunity I had to achieve “Financial Freedom” in a few years turned out to be a serious set-back, even though I was so close to it.
4 years in the stock market left me with a huge paper loss.
Now, I stretch myself every day with work. I could not even stop thinking about it while eating.
But unbelievable as it is, I feel good: productive, fulfilled, valued and even confident.
Well, surely seems that is my path.
What is yours?
Till next time!
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| Photo by redcharlie on Unsplash |
Dear Readers,
Thank you for coming here!
Here is another update on the weekly transactions,
Still NIL.
We will hold on to the counters we currently have for not really knowing what to do.
And if they do not die, they will come back.
We have accumulated some war chest over the past few months, but it is relatively very small.
We will hold on to that too for not seeing any opportunities now.
Till next time!
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| Photo by Antoine Dautry on Unsplash |
Dear Readers,
Thank you for coming here!
Consider the formula below:
P=1-（1-P1）×（1-P2）×（1-P3）×（1-P4）×……（1-Pn）
If you have also taken “Probability” classes in school, you know this is the way to calculate the probability of succeeding at least once in N tries, with a probability for success in any try being P and N being the number of tries.
If we apply this to life, from a pure mathematical point of view, we can tabulate below chances for success in anything we do.
*N = number of tries
*Age = 18 + N x 7, assuming we get a chance to try every 7 years and we get our first chance at age of 25.
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| From Author |
If we are doing something with 10% of probability of success, then by the time we are 81, the change that we would have succeeded is 60%.
If probability of success is 20%, then we will be at 60% at age 46. By age 81, we would be very close to 90%.
With 30% probability of success, we are almost certain to have succeeded by age 81.
…
Also note that this is not considering the evolvement of probability of success. As we get more experiences in doing somethings, our probability of success tends to increase.
And that would just make the above table more favorable to our odds.
Life seems pretty full of hope!
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| Photo by janilson furtado on Unsplash |
Of course, there are factors that would pull us down.
First of all, once we succeed, we need to be careful not to make any fatal mistakes.
Any one of them could erase our progress completely and even hurt our chances of starting over.
Secondly, do not give up.
The probability only works in our favor with increasing number of tries.
Thirdly, do not switching what we try frequently.
If we try a different thing each time, we will be trapped in the zone of low probability of success.
Fourthly, do away with the anxiety.
Most commoners succeed after various tries, which means they succeed at older ages.
If you have not succeeded, keep trying but there is no need for the anxiety, which ruins your life and hurts your probability of success.
If you are not a commoner and have all your life planned by someone loving and powerful, you should not be wasting your time reading this blog.
Go take advantage of what you have and do bigger and better things.
Or at least enjoy your lives.
To us all! And till next time!
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| Photo by Jimi Malmberg on Unsplash |
Dear Readers,
Thank you for coming here!
I have a dream that I can exercise and play games at the same time.
Apparently, mouse and keyboard is not going to cut it.
VR/AR seems promising, but they have progressed so slowly over the years.
I checked them out like 4 years back and decided to wait…
Recently, I checked them out again and it seems they are acceptable now.
The headsets are affordable enough now and maybe even more importantly, light/comfortable/flexible enough now.
The graphics is acceptable too, for most PCVR titles. For Quest titles, it depends.
The control, as I heard from a friend, is good enough to be enjoyable now.
Most importantly, there are a vast pool of titles for our selection now, with a few “close to perfection” ones, like “Half-Life: Alyx”.
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| From Internet |
Seriously, I am hooked.
I think it is high time I get some exercise now.
The headset I am looking at now is Oculus Quest 2.
The only things that hold me back:
I want to wait to see what Facebook has to offer.
And my commitment should end shortly after that too, before it picks up again, leaving me the time to enjoy it.
If I do that, you guys can surely hear me sharing my experiences in this blog. I am just worried that I will share too much and bore you.
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| From Internet |
By the way, I have watched Free Guy, as promised a while ago.
It is so disappointing to see that people still play the game in front of their desk with mice's and keyboards, in the age of AI!
Guys, you need to up your game!
Till next time!
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| Photo by Simon Infanger on Unsplash |
Dear Readers,
Thank you for coming here!
Here is another update on the weekly transactions,
Still NIL.
Both my wife and I have our focus somewhere else.
I really cannot say that this is healthy. We are basically ignoring our portfolio.
This is "playing" irresponsibly with our own hard-earned money.
But as of now, we do not see other options or refuse to see other options.
Let's see how it goes.
It is a wonder how I used to care so much about every cent and now I just do not care any more, looking at the huge paper loss.
I guess experiences do change us, especially those of failure we have not experienced before.
Till next time!
