It has been a while since last time I did something like this.
I am really tired today.
For the first time in a long time, I did not have time to eat or drink or think. I just moved from meeting to meeting and from deliverable to deliverable.
Here I am, exhausted with a painful throat.
For the first time in a long time, I did not have time to do anything else because of work.
I guess this would happen sooner or later since the moment I decided to take over the scope of a colleague who was leaving.
I did not like the scope and I did not expect anything in return.
I did it simply because it would help my manager out and I was the best person to do it.
Still, I do not like the scope but I know I am doing pretty well, probably better than anyone else in the team would.
In a way, I asked for today to happen.
Do I like it? Let’s just say I know what I am doing and I do not hate it yet.
So it is end of May and before we know it, half of 2021 will be gone…
Here comes another monthly update!
Seriously bleeding!
Net-Worth increase from last month: -22K SGD, -1.27KG Gold
This is our first negative month since Oct last year and I am still drawing salary. So it is really negative!
The sole reason is the drop of our portfolio. A few of our major positions suffered significant drop.
Actually, from the portfolio perspective, this would not be the first negative month this year.
And if not for other reasons, such as property sale higher than the conservative estimate, we would have had negative months already, probably more than once this year.
Also bear in mind that this has not considered my wife’s portfolio change…
The increment in terms of Gold is of course negative.
Because Gold price has increased ~6% last month, the negative number does not look that drastic.
So we got back a little from last month, where we had a positive increment in terms of SGD but negative increment in terms of Gold due to price increase.
I believed the buying points had come and I make the move. It turned out I could have waited a bit more.
Anyway, below are the transactions.
Capital injection: ~43K SGD
1.YALA
I have been waiting for 18.5 buying point and it finally came. So the positions were added.
And it kept going down to below 16…haha…
So I added a bit more at 16.4.
And it all happened within 3 days…
I think the company is still solid. I still believe in its products and services and its ability to monetize them. The financial reports look good too.
The market is on the downward trend and this stock is being badly affected.
Lets see. Only time will tell.
2.TENCENT
I never planned to add positions. But the prices dipped to 75–76 range and it looked attractive.
So I added some positions. And of course, it continued to dip after my buy.
I do sometimes regret that I did not reduce my positions when the “profit-taking” started. Now I have lost all the gains and even more.
My account has been in the very RED zone recently.
For investing, the only way to learn may be actually experiencing the loss and emotional swing. Otherwise, we can read as much as we like and much of it wont make sense until we have experienced.
Two things are important during the process:
We do learn
We do not let the emotional swing affect our lives too much
After all, we invest to make money to have good lives.
I made a decision today that made me feel uncomfortable.
It was against my preference— I really need to stretch myself to help, given the current workload I am facing.
It was against my belief — I once wrote in this blog that we should not do things so that people will like us. We should do things that actually add value. One criteria is that we will say “No” to ourselves when saying “Yes” to others. I clearly went against this rule.
I did not like the interactions — I felt the other party always had the upper hand in the interactions, even though the power to say “No” was with me. I just gave that power up.
I did not like my re-actions — I did not reject, but I did not accept “smoothly” either. This is probably the worst case. I still do the work, I do not feel happy about it and the other party knows that I was not really willing to help. I lose on all three ends.
It will not yield appreciation — I got the feeling that the other party thought this was something I should do, even though I made it clear that I was busy. Plus the feelings he got that I was not really willing to help, I do not think any appreciation will be generated here, even thought there was initially.
It will not make the other party feel good — He might get the feeling of being rejected because I was not willing.
It made me feel bad — not only because of all the above, but also because I know that I would not feel good even if I rejected him. I would start to think about all the good things he did for me and blame myself for not being grateful.
This has been a NP-Hard problem for me. (NP-Hard = at least as hard as the hardest problem).
And clearly, it still is!
When I think back, I think two reasons really caused me to struggle:
I wanted the other party to “like” me — there is a lot of mutual favor between us. And I do not want to give that up and I am afraid that rejecting will hurt that.
I was not skillful enough — maybe there are skills that would enable me to say no without hurting the relationship.
Build a strong mindset and become strong enough to believe that we can make it even if some people do not like us. As the old Chinese saying goes, no desire makes one strong. (BTW, this probably requires only courage. Having the “like” of people does not always help.)
Become skillful enough. But at least for now, I do not really recommend this approach. No one is stupid and they could even possess better skills.
I think I am on my way, even though I feel like shit now.
If your business makes money, are you really working for yourself?
This seemingly obvious question may have a different answer, if we take a different perspective — whether we are enjoying the trend, getting paid for our work, or making real profits.
Let’s say we discover a new demand and we are the pioneer to enter this market and build it up.
We make good money. We are really enjoying the benefits of the trend because we are the first.
More players will enter into competition naturally. And making money will be harder.
So maybe after a few years, our revenue can barely cover our expenses.
At this point, we are basically getting paid for our work.
We are working for the society to satisfy a certain demand and the society pays us “salary” for it.
However, if we innovate to reduce our costs and provide better solutions, we are making real profits.
When the cost for everyone else is 10 dollars, we are able to reduce to 5 dollars and no one else can do it. We can price anywhere between 5 and 10 dollars.
What we have done is build a moat and we are making real profits. The money will be much better compared to the work we put in.
Real profits comes from no competition because we are always in the lead.
Being able to communicate the picture clearly and make your audience understand is more important and a lot harder to do.
I always knew it would be hard, because people are very likely on different frequencies, due to background, experiences, education etc etc.
However, I never expected it to be so hard.
Previously, even as a consultant when I had to communicate with people I do not know at all, I could typically manage it.
I could adapt to their styles and habits fairly quickly. After all, it was my job to make them understand and cooperate.
However, things are different now.
My new boss posted a huge challenge for me.
I just could not seem to reach the common understanding with him. Even when I thought we did, we did not, because he expected totally different things from what I delivered next time we met.
This added a lot of frustrations and pressure.
After a while, I think I kind of figured out the reason — we were talking about different “pictures”.
He was always talking about the long-term picture and I was always trying to explain and align with him the intermediate picture which was realistic and executable given our resources.
He got frustrated because he simply wanted his picture.
I was frustrated because I told him I understood his long term picture and now I would like to discuss with him what we can do to achieve it in a realistic way. Or at least, we should agree on the expectations before our next meeting.
Once I realized it, the communication has become much better.
I will simply ask him “what do you think we should do now before we meet next week?” and if he has no clue, I give him my suggestions.
This seemed obvious and unnecessary to me as well at first. But that question clearly told him that we now discuss what we do today or this week.
That establishes a common platform.
It is ok if he does not have a clue or he does not care. I will simply give my suggestions.
Sometimes, the solution is so simple.
Simple solutions typically require clear and deep understanding which is not simple to do though.
Based on my experience, I offer four pieces of suggestions.
1.Show the pictures
This is the most intuitive thing to do.
We want to explain and make people understand our pictures, so just show them.
This will be much more effective than just explaining verbally.
If we are building a PowerPoint deck, show the dummy deck.
If we are doing an analysis, show the scenarios — what are the possible outcomes and each possibility will lead to what conclusion.
If we are organizing a meeting, show the picture of the meeting venue, layout of chairs etc etc
2.Standardize rules of engagement
As much as we can, we should standard rules of engagement.
For example, terms.
In the professional world of phones, here are the terms that should be used across the board.
Model — iPhone 12 is a model
Variant — iPhone 12 128GB is a variant
SKU — iPhone 12 128GB black is a SKU
For example, deadlines.
When we set a deadline with external clients, we expect our internal preparation to be fully completed, reviewed and finalized 24 hours before the deadline.
For example, data update cycle.
If we are doing analysis in Feb, data needs to be updated at least till Jan.
…
3.Sync up
This is similar to Point 2. However, this refers to things that cannot be explicitly communicated.
I remember a documentary on The Blue Angels flight demonstration squadron.
The pilots said they spent pretty much all the time together to understand how each other thought so that they could sync up their actions to complete the beautiful maneuver without crashing into each other.
Most jobs do not require this level of sync up. But spending more time together seems to be a good way to sync up.
4.Think, analyze and summarize
Of course, with every encounter, we think, analyze and summarize. This will speed up the process.
If we could have the picture and make people understand it, we send the strong signal that we have this area under control, which sets the stage for career success.
On the other hand, if we could perfectly understand the pictures of our managers, or even come out with the pictures before he does, we are on our way to become indispensable.
Sadly, many people unlock the first level with diligence, and just assume that diligence is the master key — one key to unlock them all.
As a result, they are trapped in the first level forever, no matter how hard they try.
As a matter of fact, the harder they try, the more firmly trapped they are.
Some of them will believe by mistake that the reason why they cannot enter the next level is that people upstairs have locked the door from the other side.
Therefore, many of them complain and become cynical, but never think of trying a different key.
We need to clearly remember and firmly believe that, as our stages change, some of the beliefs we hold dearly to our heart, whether inherited or picked up along the way, will become completely wrong and hurt us.
Every stage has its rules and we need to learn, experiment and adapt.
This world runs by its rules, which are deeply rooted in evolution. And it will not overly accommodate anyone.
Therefore, successful people are the ones with the strongest adaptability. They have no time to complain or have their feelings hurt.
To achieve the “have”, we can put in efforts and there are many ways.
To achieve the “do not have”, we need to pursue both internally and externally:
Internally, we can train and improve our “immune system”: healthy body, strong mind, wisdom…
Externally, it seems that we can only rely on luck. So do a lot of good things. Believe that as long as we keep doing good things, good things will happen to us.
Addiction is associated with all sorts of things that are perceived bad by people, like gambling, drugs, sex, video gaming…
I was educated to stay away from any kind of “addiction” so that I do not ruin my life.
But what is “Addiction” really?
There are many cases where I was given a concept and a lesson or a conclusion and I just took it with me in my life journey without really understanding it, let along doubting it or testing it.
This is also one of them.
I never seriously pursue the real meaning of the word “Addiction”, though I do sometimes ask myself: if I do what I like a lot a lot, is that considered addiction?
On one hand, I spend a lot of time in doing what I like a lot, which means I wont spend as much time as I should in things I should be doing, like studying.
On the other hand, I really enjoy spending time in those things. If this is addition, isn’t addiction the only way to enjoy life and shouldn’t we all pursue it?
These thoughts all flash through my mind without getting my attention.
I picked up gaming in high school when I let a friend copy my answers in the exam, in exchange for playing with his computer.
I still remember the game was “Beach Head”. I was immediately hooked.
After entering university, without any supervision, I totally indulged myself in gaming.
I played every shooting games I could find. I could literally forget about time, hunger and even myself while gaming.
And I really enjoyed the experiences and the improvement in moving, aiming, shooting and studying the maps.
This lasted for a long time.
I think that was when my “Want” and “Like” was highly aligned. I really managed to waste my life on things I enjoyed, which, according to some, was the only way to spend our lives.
Then it came a time when I was more interested in installing the games and fixing whatever technical problems I might encounter, than playing the games themselves.
Sometimes, I would also lost patience to solve the game and looked for cheats. Or I just wanted to play through a game so that I could mark it as played.
I think that was when I had got “Addicted”.
I “Want” to do something that I do not really “Like”.
It surely sounds like I have lost my “independence” and am manipulated by something else. And it is not within my control!
Therefore, “Addiction” does not bring happiness. It only brings suffering.
